Found husband got another child

Oh Sara

What a shock to find this out. How are you today? Can I ask how did you find out and have you been able to gather your thoughts?

We are here to listen if you want to talk further

He told me

im not doing too well tbh

Hi Sara,

I'm Loraine, another of the Netmums' Parent Supporters and I work alongside Lauren.

I'm not surprised you're 'not doing too well' after hearing this news. Please give yourself some time to deal with the shock and the myriad of emotions you must be going through right now.

Once you have digested what has happened, you need to think about where you go from here.

Relate have lots of helpful information on their website about secrets and betrayal in relationships and they offer either individual or couples counselling, if that's something you want to consider. You can find out more at: https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help/secrets

We're also here if you want to keep chatting Sara, so come back and let us know how things are and we'll try to support you in any way we can.

Loraine x

Omg I bet that was such a shock

Why has he just told you now?

I hope your ok and you can get through this xxx

So sorry you are going through this

I do hope you can find a way forward in the best interest of your children and yourself

In my world he would be gone, for the infidelity and the secrets and obviously lies to have carried this out, I just could not trust him

Be kind to yourself, none of it is down to you

I can completely sympathise... My partner of 8 years has a son to a one night stand he had 1 year after we got together. I don't want to make you feel worse... But be prepared for the baby muma to change her mind, your husband to change his...and the child to change theirs. I naively thought she'd just get on with her life and respect our privacy like she promised but I guess emotions got the better of her and she reached out to my partner's mum who decided to proceed with a relationship and she's contacted my partner on numerous occasions claiming "our son is asking if his dad is dead"... But since my partner and I had a son 3 year ago, he's started to feel guilty and paternal and it's ignited feelings he has about his own father starting a new family after his parents split up and how he's never want to make a child feel that way.

So now... I have to find it in me to get on board and embrace and accept the woman my partner cheated on me with as 'family' and that her son is my son's brother. I always vowed regardless of how it would all pan out, I'd never keep a dirty secret from my children... Honestly though, I have no idea how to do it...

Why should she get on with her life and respect privacy ? I hope your partner pays Maintence and supports the child . What a loser your partner is and you by the sounds of it blaming a woman for your partners cheating .

I didn't realise women came on here to tear apart other women without a full understanding of the story. What I typed, was a snippit of my entire situation... I don't have the time to give you the full I site for you to make a decent and calculated judgement. I came to simply offer empathy to someone going through something similar.

Yes he does pay maintenance, no I do not blame her, yes I do blame him and have spent many years working on our relationship to move past that. Yes I understand her decisions even if I don't agree with them. I'm not a loser... I'm a decent human being, trying to understand everyone's point of view cos life isn't black and white...

Take time to cry and think about what questions you need answering.