5 signs of emotional intelligence in preschoolers

Last modified on Monday 6 March 2023

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There’s plenty of emphasis on your preschooler's academic learning, such as recognising letters of the alphabet or numbers. But what about encouraging the other important skill of ‘emotional intelligence’, too?

Emotional intelligence, or ‘EQ’ for short, is all about understanding and controlling our emotions and also managing our interactions with other people.

Lots of studies have shown that it’s at least as important as IQ when it comes to our children's futures. In fact, research found having EQ can help children do better at school as they get older. Leading psychologist Daniel Goleman says this emotional intelligence plays a big part in determining how successful people are in life. (Just 20% of this is down to IQ, he says.).

Which all sounds pretty convincing. So how can you encourage this EQ in your preschooler, and what are the signs they already have it?

1. They have empathy for others

From comforting a friend who is upset to wanting to make others happy, your preschooler might be quite tuned in to the feelings of those around them. But don't worry if they're not quite there yet. There's a surprisingly effective way of boosting this important social skill of empathy ... and it's as simple as playing with dolls.

Neuroscientists from Cardiff University, working in partnership with Barbie , carried out a study* on boys and girls aged 4 to 8. Incredibly, they found playing with dolls activates regions of a child’s brain associated with ‘social information processing’. Dr Sarah Gerson, who carried out the study, says:

‘This is a completely new finding. We use this area of the brain when we think about other people, especially when we think about another person’s thoughts or feelings. Dolls encourage them to create their own little imaginary worlds – as opposed to, say, problem-solving or building games. They encourage children to think about other people and how they might interact with each other.'

Think your child is a bit little for a Barbie of their own? Think again! Thanks to the launch of My First Barbie , there's a Barbie designed specifically for preschoolers.

My First Barbie is a bit larger than a standard Barbie doll, with a softer body making it easier to play with. Hook-and-loop closures on the clothes and bigger accessories make My First Barbie easier for little hands to navigate. All of which means more playtime to boost their empathy skills!

*Study was commissioned by Barbie (2020)

2. They can label their own emotions

... and other people's emotions, too.

When your preschooler can begin to recognise and describe how they feel, they’ve taken a first step towards building emotional intelligence.

Initially this will only be possible with simpler language such as, 'I’m sad', and limited to basic emotions. But that's okay, and it's just the start of them recognising how they feel, and being able to talk about these feelings, as they get older.

Once they understand themselves, over time your child will be able to identify and respond to how others around them are feeling too, be it family, friends or even their pets.

Boy and girl playing with My First Barbie
Playing with dolls like My First Barbie can help preschoolers learn about empathy

3. Understanding why they feel a certain way

As your preschooler gets a bit older, they might begin to make more connections between how they feel and events going on in their lives – even when the link isn’t so obvious.

An example might be realising that they’re anxious because they’re starting a new school, or that they feel jealous of a sibling’s success or the attention they’re receiving. While the emotions they experience might not always be positive, seeing the cause and effect is a good sign your preschooler is growing emotionally.

4. They carry out acts of kindness towards other people

Beyond just recognising others’ emotions, preschoolers and older children with strong EQ will try and actually change them for the better. They want to comfort their friend who has fallen over at nursery, or they might want to bake a cake for their grandparent who is ill.

You can help your preschooler with this, and chat to them about the importance of thinking about others.

5. They are 'peacekeepers'

Attempting to resolve problems between friends is a skill that shows a good level of understanding of others’ emotions and relationships.

To be able to do so, your preschooler must have empathy with what his or her friends are feeling. They’re probably not quite ready to be a UN Peacekeeper just yet – but being a playground peacekeeper is a start!

Playing with My First Barbie can really encourage this. Your preschooler can imagine any situation they choose, using their dolls (there are 4 in the My First Barbie range) to act out different scenarios. The Cardiff researchers also found that playing with dolls gives children the chance to copy actions they see other people doing.

This means your preschooler can mimic situations where you've taken a 'peacekeeper' role, maybe among your bickering children or with another family member.

©2023 Mattel

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