3 year old behavioural challenges
3 answers /
Last post: 08/04/2023 at 11:46 am
Hello Everyone,
This is technically my first post here, hope I’m doing it right. So here goes.
My son who is turned 3 just 2 months ago is being referred to Senco by his nursery as they have noticed some behavioural challenges he is having.
My LO is an only child and was a hard core covid baby who didn’t have much social interaction during the first 2 years of his life. Right after he turned 2 we moved countries and ever since then is when his social skills were properly put to test.
He does get very uncomfortable with new people and places but over time he even after a couple of hours he tends to ease up. He’s surely not a child who can be taken to any social setting.
His communication skills are above average and has a memory that amazes me sometimes.
However, he has always been challenging in social settings and took a while to settle at his nursery. Now he loves the place.
Lately I’ve been getting some feedback about this behaviour at school and its not been great.
He tends to push kids, sometimes kick them and there was one biting episode too.
He even tells me at home that he wants to push kids, and mostly he says this to see my reaction because I used to get worked up.
He doesn’t do any of this out of anger. He’s very energetic and a happy child and when he gets over excited he tends to do these things.
He’s the only child so he doesn’t get to play with anyone else other than my husband and I at home. He’s quite well behaved at home. Helps us with little house work and follows instructions very well. But he doesn’t seem to be so at nursery.
School recently mentioned to me that they would like him to be assessed by Senco. I didn’t know what secco was initially and when I read up I was a-little shocked and disappointed to be honest because till this point I thought these behaviours are normal at this stage.
I’m not sure how to process all this and its honestly quite a lot to take.
Is there anyone who could give me some advice on this if anything similar has been experienced. I would really appreciate it.
Thank you!
Hi Yash88,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thank you for reaching out for your first post and sharing so openly with us. I know your situation will resonate with many of our community members here and hopefully they will be along shortly to offer their own help and experiences also.
Your son sounds like an absolute delight! Although it's been tough in Covid it sounds like you have done a marvellous job in giving him lots of stimulating and fun experiences. And what a bright boy, as well - responding to things like 'following instructions' and 'helping with little housework'. You mentioned his 'communication skills are above average and has a memory that amazes me sometimes. He’s very energetic and a happy child.' It sounds like you guys have a really special and playful connection, and from that secure base now you're seeing him venture out to try to connect with other children in nursery.
Many children may seem 'behind' in one thing or another at this stage, and then 'catch up' completely, so I hope it's not too much of a worry for you regarding his interaction skills at this stage. There are lots of lovely communication and interaction skills that he certainly IS doing beautifully. The school SENCO is the first step to any concerns you or the school have about a child, they are the one's with the knowledge and wealth of information on how to support children with any additional support needs or assessments needed. It's positive that they are looking into your LO's social interaction behaviours right now as they can provide help on how to help him reduce some of his behaviours if needed. It may very well be just typical child behaviour but this way they will be able to rule out anything further for you and your son to remove any barriers that may be getting in his way.
I'll link here an article we have published on schools in the UK to assist you with any other things that may be different and help you can access also due to your move, I can imagine it's a big change for you all. Choosing the right preschool - Netmums .
Take care,
Emma
Don't worry , let SENCO do their Job and work together with them, my son was the same at 3 with speech delay ... very very energetic. Don't be disappointed, if anything you want him to get the help needs rather than being labelled a naughty child or spoilt.