Separation
4 answers /
Last post: 18/01/2023 at 11:49 am
struggling leaving baby with dad for more than a couple of hours without her screaming then stops and smiles at me when she sees me but dad feels deflated by this as he is doing something wrong. Any advice please
Hi Leah
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic - support for dads, so you can get the advice and support you need.
Hi Leah,
I'm Loraine, one of the Netmums' Parent Supporters.
You said your baby's dad gets 'deflated' when your lo screams and feels like he is 'doing something wrong'
I know that lots our netmums' community will be able to relate to your situation and hopefully, some of them will be along soon to share their experience with you.
In the meantime, generally speaking, new babies spend the majority of time in the first weeks and months with mum and when that suddenly changes, they naturally want that security back, so it's perfectly natural that your baby will be unsettled until she sees you again. That doesn't however, make it any easier for dads who are going through it.
I think if others join the chat, it might give dad some much needed reassurance that he's not the only one.
In the meantime, I have found some tips for dads on the National Childbirth Trust website which you both may find helpful to read through. You can access the details at: https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/bonding-and-caring-for-your-baby/how-can-dads-bond-their-baby
I hope some of this helps Leah, but come back and let us know how things are and we'll try to support you in any way we can.
Loraine x
Hi Leah,
I'm Loraine, one of the Netmums' Parent Supporters.
You said your baby's dad gets 'deflated' when your lo screams and feels like he is 'doing something wrong'
I know that lots our netmums' community will be able to relate to your situation and hopefully, some of them will be along soon to share their experience with you.
In the meantime, generally speaking, new babies spend the majority of time in the first weeks and months with mum and when that suddenly changes, they naturally want that security back, so it's perfectly natural that your baby will be unsettled until she sees you again. That doesn't however, make it any easier for dads who are going through it.
I think if others join the chat, it might give dad some much needed reassurance that he's not the only one.
In the meantime, I have found some tips for dads on the National Childbirth Trust website which you both may find helpful to read through. You can access the details at: https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/bonding-and-caring-for-your-baby/how-can-dads-bond-their-baby
I hope some of this helps Leah, but come back and let us know how things are and we'll try to support you in any way we can.
Loraine x
Thank you it’s hard for both of us as a mum you dont want to hear your baby screaming but at the same time I want her to get a good bond with her dad I will read this and hopefully it will help.