Obsession with violence
4 answers /
Last post: 17/04/2023 at 7:25 pm
My own children are very young, I don’t know what’s ‘normal’ but my 11 year old stepdaughter is absolutely obsessed with horror and violence. I find it disconcerting as I just hate it and can’t watch it, and I know she’s freaked other kids out with it. She accesses content and plays games that are violent to the point of being disturbing, including torture, blood and violence towards children. She shows no empathy, she’s cold, she doesn’t know how to have a conversation. She watches terrifying YouTube videos and says she wants to be an actress in horror films (as the murderer) when she’s older. 11 is different to a 5 year old who doesn’t have much idea of what they’re saying. Is this normal behaviour? Is she acting things out? Or is this sign posting to serious mental health and behavioural issues? The problem here is her dad is too scared to admit something isn’t quite right, and I’m not sure her mum and stepdad are aware that anything is going on. But she lets slip these oddities and preferences for content that is cruel and violent. I worry about my children who I parent very differently, it’s not a free for all and screen time is not allowed at all. She shows a contempt for younger children. She’s the oldest out of all her siblings but a fair few years, maybe she feels contempt for the attention she feels they took from her, or the fact that they were all born into stable marriages and she’s never known her parents to be together because they never really were. But wherever the anger comes from and the tendency towards violence developed, it’s still not ok. No one in her life appears to be addressing it, how far will it go? She’s completely desensitised.
Hi Mandy
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for reaching out and sharing with us this evening.
I can hear that you are worried about the impact of what your stepdaughter is watching and playing on both her own emotional well being, as well as your own younger kids. Have you any other concerns about her emotional well being, Mandy? Does it seem to be affecting her anxiety, mood or sleep? If you are worried about it affecting her in this way, it might be worth having a chat to your partner or her mum and asking if they could make a GP appointment for her.
There is so much concerning and worrying content out that can be so easily accessed by kids. The NSPCC are often a really good source of up to date information and have some excellent resources to help keep kids safe and also suggestions to help start conversation with them I'll link it here in case you would like to have a wee look: Teaching Your Child about Internet & Online Safety | NSPCC
Hopefully some of our community will be along soon to offer support but in the meantime, please come back to us if you would like to chat some more.
Take care
Catherine
Hi Mandy
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for reaching out and sharing with us this evening.
I can hear that you are worried about the impact of what your stepdaughter is watching and playing on both her own emotional well being, as well as your own younger kids. Have you any other concerns about her emotional well being, Mandy? Does it seem to be affecting her anxiety, mood or sleep? If you are worried about it affecting her in this way, it might be worth having a chat to your partner or her mum and asking if they could make a GP appointment for her.
There is so much concerning and worrying content out that can be so easily accessed by kids. The NSPCC are often a really good source of up to date information and have some excellent resources to help keep kids safe and also suggestions to help start conversation with them I'll link it here in case you would like to have a wee look: Teaching Your Child about Internet & Online Safety | NSPCC
Hopefully some of our community will be along soon to offer support but in the meantime, please come back to us if you would like to chat some more.
Take care
Catherine
Hi Catherine,
Thank you for your response. The funny this is she sleeps with ease, shows no signs of anxiety at all and has this emotional detachment from life that is odd in a girl so young. I’m sure there are plenty of other parents struggling with this, it makes me so cross that there are game developers and YouTubers making so much money out of exploiting children’s impressionable minds.
Hi Mandy,
I have a step son who is a similar age and I also cannot believe the things he is allowed to watch online and the games he plays. We bought him a kids tablet and heavily restricted it but his mother has now bought him a mobile phone (to go one better!) which has no parental controls set and he is allowed to access anything he likes at any time of day.
IMO the 'kids' games now are horrific and I am mortified because even though my 5 yo does not have any access to these games he looks up to his brother and is told/overhears about the games/movies and then repeats what he hears. Thankfully he doesn't fully understand yet but I also don't know how to handle it other than not allowing phone/YouTube when we aren't in the room. It's so hard, and ss wants to make up these violent games he chases and scares his brother all the time which I won't tolerate and I just feel like the moany stepmum who doesn't let him watch or play anything!!
I don't really have any answers but just wanted you to know that I hear you and sadly as far as I can tell from my own ss, although I don't think it's normal, and is awful, it might be more common than you think. If they're not watching it on their own devices the chances are they will be talking about it or looking on someone else's phone at school.
Also being stepmum there is limited input to the child's life so you might just have to keep a watchful eye to make sure your own kids are safe x