Why does my toddler not want to stay with me anymore?
2 answers /
Last post: 12/03/2023 at 8:07 pm
I'm the father of a 3 year old and don't live with his mother. Since his birth, he has spent a few hours in my place daily, sometimes longer.
In the last few weeks and months, as he becomes more communicative I guess, he has been more reluctant to stay without his mother.
I'm having to offer him more fun things to do - playground, TV, park. games - in order to convince him. Recently nothing has worked and he didn't want to stay with me at all since. I've had very little contact with him as a result.
He's a happy toddler, well-looked after in both houses and gets lots of attention in my place since I don't have him for too long. He's still happy to see me.
Any idea what could be causing this? Is this just a phase?
The only weak explanation I could find is that he's still breastfed and shares a bed with his mum, so has a very close bond with her.
Hi Slem,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. I can hear how upsetting this may feel for you at the moment. Your little boy sounds as though he is thriving and although it's not pleasant for you right now, this is actually a very common phase toddlers go through as they are developing.
It is normal for a toddler to have a preference for only one parent to satisfy his needs, this behaviour is not about rejection. In time you may well experience a complete shift in your son's preferences, where he insists that only Daddy reads him his bedtime story or does bath time etc. Often children will only want one parent to do a certain thing, (e.g putting him to bed) whilst insisting that the other parent fulfil a different need.
Do you have a positive relationship with your ex partner? If possible would you be able to do any activities together during this phase or spend time in her home with your little boy? It sounds like you are trying many things to keep him engaged and your connection going which is great, don't give up on the new things you are trying.
Hopefully some of our community will be along shortly too to share their own experiences with you.
Take care,
Emma