Girlfriend Pregnant wants Space and a Break
4 answers /
Last post: 02/11/2022 at 8:55 pm
I am needing help and advice so currently the woman I am seeing she 12 weeks Pregnant me and this woman hit off really well this not her first kid this her 3rd she has 9 and 1 year old both wonderful kids well I am having issue where the baby daddy of the 1 year is stepping back into his kids life I am not keeping a father away from his kid what’s so ever and yes I knew what I was signing up for when I met her this my first kid 28 years old and baby daddy wanted back into her life but she told him he was pregnant with my child and know he is threatening to take away his child away from her cause he doesn’t want me in the kids life at all know she is shutting me out of her life cause she saying I am being to much over bearing that she hates me and she doesn’t want me around no more idk what to I am giving her space and break with no contact idk how the situation going to go because of the fight with her baby daddy and she said I am just putting more stress on her she losing me I am trying to hang in there be supportive all I can but it’s tough just any insight on what to do or how if these emotions will get better I just need some relief everything was great before the pregnancy and it wasn’t planned it was a accident and I am taking full responsibility for it and she told me this all my fault and that I ruined her life
Hi Brandon,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic - support for dads board, so you can get the advice and support you need.
Hi there Brandon,
I'm Ashley, one of the Netmums Parent Supporters. Thank you for posting - this sounds a really challenging and upsetting situation for you.
From what you're describing here, it seems that your girlfriend is feeling unsure how she wants to handle her relationships with you and her ex at the moment.
As you've said, the relationship between a Dad and his child(ren) is extremely important, but it ca feel tricky to manage that when half-siblings in a family have different Dads.
Pregnancy can be a challenging time for any woman - changes in hormones, body and emotion changes, preparing for a huge shift in their family. If your girlfriend is asking for space then you are absolutely right to respect that now. If you and she can remain on good terms, with good communication, then you are in the best possible place to build great relationship(s) when baby comes.
Do you have any support outside of this relationship, Brandon? Anyone you're able to talk to about things?
Ashley
Was her ex partner abusive?
How long was it after splitting up with him did she get involved with you?
If he was abusive she is likely still afraid of him and that would be her be irrational about how she deals with anything to do with him. If he is threatening to take her child away she is probably panicking.
The other thing that came to mind is that she got involved with you quite quickly after her break up with him and still has some unresolved feelings. It was good while he was leaving her alone because she had you as a distraction but now that he has resurfaced so have the feelings she has for him.
I’m not sure if what you can really do about it but my suggestion would be to leave her to get on with it. Tell her that your there for her, care about her and that you will give her the space that she needs but can she just communicate with you to keep you in the loop with regards to the baby.