My son is very skinny - please advice
36 answers /
Last post: 14/04/2023 at 2:46 am
Manjinder C
17/06/2012 at 3:15 pm
Hi Folks
Our son is approaching 11 years of age, and is very skinny. If you look at his bare body, you can see his bones easily sticking out through his skin – it is as though he is malnourished. He is however asthmatic, but he can control this and does not cause major problems.
We have seen the school nurse who said it is just normal, that it is just the way his bone structure would remain, he will just grow to be a tall slim/skinny man and that there is nothing to worry about. By the way, he is 5 foot at the moment.
However, a few friends of ours have suggested that we should have a second opinion and that the nurse may not have given us an accurate response, since in some cases, some medical staff do tend to ‘fob off’ the parents.
So do you think we should indeed get a second opinion? If so, who could we go to in order to get a second or even third opinion? Or, do you think we should just keep the same diet (we are an Indian family and mostly give him Indian food – curries/vegetables) for him, and take the response from the first nurse as being an accurate response, and that it is just his bone structure and that he is just going to grow up being a slim/skinny man?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated since my wife is losing sleep over this.
Our son is approaching 11 years of age, and is very skinny. If you look at his bare body, you can see his bones easily sticking out through his skin – it is as though he is malnourished. He is however asthmatic, but he can control this and does not cause major problems.
We have seen the school nurse who said it is just normal, that it is just the way his bone structure would remain, he will just grow to be a tall slim/skinny man and that there is nothing to worry about. By the way, he is 5 foot at the moment.
However, a few friends of ours have suggested that we should have a second opinion and that the nurse may not have given us an accurate response, since in some cases, some medical staff do tend to ‘fob off’ the parents.
So do you think we should indeed get a second opinion? If so, who could we go to in order to get a second or even third opinion? Or, do you think we should just keep the same diet (we are an Indian family and mostly give him Indian food – curries/vegetables) for him, and take the response from the first nurse as being an accurate response, and that it is just his bone structure and that he is just going to grow up being a slim/skinny man?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated since my wife is losing sleep over this.
Laura L(2)
17/06/2012 at 3:22 pm
Hiya- I have the same problem with my son. He is on the autistic spectrum and will only accept a limited number of foods - I asked the school nurse to check his weight and she said he was fine. However, when I used an online calculater (you can find this easily through google) I entered his height and weight and he is underweight. He is the same height as your son - 5 foot and he weighs 5 and a half stones.
We can't see any bones sticking out though!!! I am giving him his normal diet plus 2 cups of complan each day - I think he needs to put on half a stone to come into the normal range, then I am hoping we can get him to accept more foods.
Luckily he is well motivated to gain some weight!
Just google 'BMI calculator for children' and you will find the NHS one there
We can't see any bones sticking out though!!! I am giving him his normal diet plus 2 cups of complan each day - I think he needs to put on half a stone to come into the normal range, then I am hoping we can get him to accept more foods.
Luckily he is well motivated to gain some weight!
Just google 'BMI calculator for children' and you will find the NHS one there
Laura L(2)
17/06/2012 at 3:23 pm
ps - if you are still worried after doing the calculation, ask your GP for a referral to a dietician
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Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 3:26 pm
hi manjinder this is perfectly normal more so in boys of that age of course you can always ask for a second opinion but if he is healthy has a balanced diet etc i see no need for concern x
Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 3:28 pm
Hmm going into secondary school I don't think having bones that apparent is tht common or normal like the school nurse says. Try changing his diet, adding things like loads of meat for the protein.
Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 3:32 pm
Hi Manjinder
first of all the nurse is right in that it is entirely normal for kids to have bones sticking out so don't worry about that. Does he eat ok ? Does he have energy ? Is he usually well and healthy ? Sleep ok ? Do you have any other health concerns about him ? If not then he is just fine. What build did you and his father have growing up ? My OH and I were both skinny and so funnily enough our son aged 9 is also quite skinny (with ribs like a xylophone !). I wouldn't worry too much about calculating his BMI as the nurse would have most likely done that and would have mentioned if it was a problem and in any case BMI is just a guideline.
I would think if he is otherwise a healthy child then I wouldn't worry. If you want him to put a bit of weight on then what about a dollop of cream in the curry ? From the little I know about traditional Indian cooking much tends to be low fat (veggie curries and dhals etc) so you could find a way to add some calories by maybe some bhajis with extra oil, coconut paste, paneer and so on but I would think you probably know more than me on that subject !!
Hope that helps a bit
x
first of all the nurse is right in that it is entirely normal for kids to have bones sticking out so don't worry about that. Does he eat ok ? Does he have energy ? Is he usually well and healthy ? Sleep ok ? Do you have any other health concerns about him ? If not then he is just fine. What build did you and his father have growing up ? My OH and I were both skinny and so funnily enough our son aged 9 is also quite skinny (with ribs like a xylophone !). I wouldn't worry too much about calculating his BMI as the nurse would have most likely done that and would have mentioned if it was a problem and in any case BMI is just a guideline.
I would think if he is otherwise a healthy child then I wouldn't worry. If you want him to put a bit of weight on then what about a dollop of cream in the curry ? From the little I know about traditional Indian cooking much tends to be low fat (veggie curries and dhals etc) so you could find a way to add some calories by maybe some bhajis with extra oil, coconut paste, paneer and so on but I would think you probably know more than me on that subject !!
Hope that helps a bit
x
Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 3:36 pm
BMI shouldn't be used for children as it is not accurate or representative for children.
Children are not measured in the same way us adults are. Hence the hoohaa over all these children being classed as 'obese' when the school measures them using BMI.... when the child is CLEARLY not even overweight.
Two of my children are extremely skinny - you could play xylophone on their bones sticking out. heavens knows where they get it from! Eldest child is beefier and is built like his dad - powerful, younger two are sporty and athletic/dancers. Middle child has now started filling out a bit more and looks less emaciated nowadays - he is nearly 12.
If your child is generally healthy, thriving, energetic and you know they are getting a decent diet...and there are no other indicators I wouldn't worry to much. If you are still concerned pop along to your GP or HV.
Children are not measured in the same way us adults are. Hence the hoohaa over all these children being classed as 'obese' when the school measures them using BMI.... when the child is CLEARLY not even overweight.
Two of my children are extremely skinny - you could play xylophone on their bones sticking out. heavens knows where they get it from! Eldest child is beefier and is built like his dad - powerful, younger two are sporty and athletic/dancers. Middle child has now started filling out a bit more and looks less emaciated nowadays - he is nearly 12.
If your child is generally healthy, thriving, energetic and you know they are getting a decent diet...and there are no other indicators I wouldn't worry to much. If you are still concerned pop along to your GP or HV.
Laura L(2)
17/06/2012 at 3:39 pm
This is all very good advice Alison - but what happened with our son was that he was always slim and then he went into his growth spurt and he has become underweight. i know it's a bit different with our son as he is autistic and really struggles with different textures - but I feel if the school nurse had alerted us to a potential problem occuring we could have have stopped him dropping into the underweight category at all. Also when we took him to the OT she recommended we built him up with fizzy drinks, burgers and chicken nuggets! (I didn't reckon much to that advice)
Tal J
17/06/2012 at 4:05 pm
I'm underweight and I guess for me it's normal as I can eat whatever I like and just don't put on weight. It not that I'm not eating enough (well having an over 9lb baby suggests it not!!) it's just the way I, and my mum, and now my son are. His bones really stick out especially shoulder blades, in fact he'd have to put on an awful lot of weight to cover them up and my shoulder blades and collar bones are both very prominent. If you are confident your son is eating a healthy balanced diet then I wouldn't worry unless he has other signs that there might be something wrong
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Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 4:19 pm
In answer to
Laura L(2)
This is all very good advice Alison - but what happened with our son was that he was always slim and then he went into his growth spurt and he has become underweight. i know it's a bit different with our son as he is autistic and really struggles with different textures - but I feel if the school nurse had alerted us to a potential problem occuring we could have have stopped him dropping into the underweight category at all. Also when we took him to the OT she recommended we built him up with fizzy drinks, burgers and chicken nuggets! (I didn't reckon much to that advice)
Thanks hun. It really bugs me that parents of autistic children get no help at all with fussy eating. It is an area of concern for me and I am training as a psychologist with this in mind (fussy eating). It's almost like health professionals say "well, he's autistic so feed him rubbish". Grrrr !
As to underweight, well if you mean below the 2nd centile then he will be in good company with 1 other child in every 100 healthy children. The centile chart means just that - below 2nd means that 2 in every 100 children will be in this category and that this is their normal healthy weight. The only reason it is called underweight is because for the majority (98%) of children it truly means that they are underweight for their build (if that makes sense !).
You may find as he goes thru puberty his muscle mass may increase and he will get back to a more "normal" weight.
x
As to underweight, well if you mean below the 2nd centile then he will be in good company with 1 other child in every 100 healthy children. The centile chart means just that - below 2nd means that 2 in every 100 children will be in this category and that this is their normal healthy weight. The only reason it is called underweight is because for the majority (98%) of children it truly means that they are underweight for their build (if that makes sense !).
You may find as he goes thru puberty his muscle mass may increase and he will get back to a more "normal" weight.
x
Can't find your answer?
Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 4:28 pm
In answer to
Anonymous
Hi Manjinder
first of all the nurse is right in that it is entirely normal for kids to have bones sticking out so don't worry about that. Does he eat ok ? Does he have energy ? Is he usually well and healthy ? Sleep ok ? Do you have any other health concerns about him ? If not then he is just fine. What build did you and his father have growing up ? My OH and I were both skinny and so funnily enough our son aged 9 is also quite skinny (with ribs like a xylophone !). I wouldn't worry too much about calculating his BMI as the nurse would have most likely done that and would have mentioned if it was a problem and in any case BMI is just a guideline.
I would think if he is otherwise a healthy child then I wouldn't worry. If you want him to put a bit of weight on then what about a dollop of cream in the curry ? From the little I know about traditional Indian cooking much tends to be low fat (veggie curries and dhals etc) so you could find a way to add some calories by maybe some bhajis with extra oil, coconut paste, paneer and so on but I would think you probably know more than me on that subject !!
Hope that helps a bit
x
first of all the nurse is right in that it is entirely normal for kids to have bones sticking out so don't worry about that. Does he eat ok ? Does he have energy ? Is he usually well and healthy ? Sleep ok ? Do you have any other health concerns about him ? If not then he is just fine. What build did you and his father have growing up ? My OH and I were both skinny and so funnily enough our son aged 9 is also quite skinny (with ribs like a xylophone !). I wouldn't worry too much about calculating his BMI as the nurse would have most likely done that and would have mentioned if it was a problem and in any case BMI is just a guideline.
I would think if he is otherwise a healthy child then I wouldn't worry. If you want him to put a bit of weight on then what about a dollop of cream in the curry ? From the little I know about traditional Indian cooking much tends to be low fat (veggie curries and dhals etc) so you could find a way to add some calories by maybe some bhajis with extra oil, coconut paste, paneer and so on but I would think you probably know more than me on that subject !!
Hope that helps a bit
x
Firstly, totally agree with what Alison has written.
Hi Manjinder, you could be describing my son (he's just turned 12). When he's stripped, he looks so skinny. His older brother of 14 is a much bigger build, so he looks puny next to him. I know my son receives all the vitamins/minerals he needs for a growing body, so I'm not worried.
Does your son have a good appetite? Is he active? Were you/OH/relatives of a similar build when you were young? To comfort your wife perhaps you could speak with a nutritionist who I'm sure you could be referred to by your GP. This said, sounds like he's a normal healthy boy.
Hi Manjinder, you could be describing my son (he's just turned 12). When he's stripped, he looks so skinny. His older brother of 14 is a much bigger build, so he looks puny next to him. I know my son receives all the vitamins/minerals he needs for a growing body, so I'm not worried.
Does your son have a good appetite? Is he active? Were you/OH/relatives of a similar build when you were young? To comfort your wife perhaps you could speak with a nutritionist who I'm sure you could be referred to by your GP. This said, sounds like he's a normal healthy boy.
Laura L(2)
17/06/2012 at 4:31 pm
Thanks Alison - he actually turn 14 in October and has started growing taller but not showing any other real signs of puberty (in fact he is very immature in his behaviour and appearence) He looks about 9 years old I would say and has very very smooth spotless skin!
He was on 1st centile when I did the BMI online thing - and I had no concerns about his weight until we saw the OT (who was supposed to be helping him increase hi acceptance of mixed textured foods I thought)
when she found he ate cereal with milk on she decided that was a mixed texture and that was fine!!!!
The big problem we have is he is reluctant to eat any fruit or veg (he likes a thing to taste the same every time) and he does not drink enough so he regularly suffers constipation and has to take a laxative.
I really had hoped he could be helped to tolerate fruits/ vege and remove the laxative but this does not seem to be the aim - the OT then started saying its all about getting calories into him (not previously mentioned)
He is only 5 and a half stone though at aged 13 - the exact same weight as his 9 year old brother!!! And my 9 year old looks really skinny too. I also have a 6 foot 16 year old who is really skinny but even he is 9 stone 4 - a whole 4 stone more than my 13 year old.
Sorry I have hi jacked the thread - do you think I am right in wanting to get half a stone on my autistic child? I am thinking he needs the energy now to spurt a bit
He was on 1st centile when I did the BMI online thing - and I had no concerns about his weight until we saw the OT (who was supposed to be helping him increase hi acceptance of mixed textured foods I thought)
when she found he ate cereal with milk on she decided that was a mixed texture and that was fine!!!!
The big problem we have is he is reluctant to eat any fruit or veg (he likes a thing to taste the same every time) and he does not drink enough so he regularly suffers constipation and has to take a laxative.
I really had hoped he could be helped to tolerate fruits/ vege and remove the laxative but this does not seem to be the aim - the OT then started saying its all about getting calories into him (not previously mentioned)
He is only 5 and a half stone though at aged 13 - the exact same weight as his 9 year old brother!!! And my 9 year old looks really skinny too. I also have a 6 foot 16 year old who is really skinny but even he is 9 stone 4 - a whole 4 stone more than my 13 year old.
Sorry I have hi jacked the thread - do you think I am right in wanting to get half a stone on my autistic child? I am thinking he needs the energy now to spurt a bit
Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 4:41 pm
In answer to
Laura L(2)
Thanks Alison - he actually turn 14 in October and has started growing taller but not showing any other real signs of puberty (in fact he is very immature in his behaviour and appearence) He looks about 9 years old I would say and has very very smooth spotless skin!
He was on 1st centile when I did the BMI online thing - and I had no concerns about his weight until we saw the OT (who was supposed to be helping him increase hi acceptance of mixed textured foods I thought)
when she found he ate cereal with milk on she decided that was a mixed texture and that was fine!!!!
The big problem we have is he is reluctant to eat any fruit or veg (he likes a thing to taste the same every time) and he does not drink enough so he regularly suffers constipation and has to take a laxative.
I really had hoped he could be helped to tolerate fruits/ vege and remove the laxative but this does not seem to be the aim - the OT then started saying its all about getting calories into him (not previously mentioned)
He is only 5 and a half stone though at aged 13 - the exact same weight as his 9 year old brother!!! And my 9 year old looks really skinny too. I also have a 6 foot 16 year old who is really skinny but even he is 9 stone 4 - a whole 4 stone more than my 13 year old.
Sorry I have hi jacked the thread - do you think I am right in wanting to get half a stone on my autistic child? I am thinking he needs the energy now to spurt a bit
He was on 1st centile when I did the BMI online thing - and I had no concerns about his weight until we saw the OT (who was supposed to be helping him increase hi acceptance of mixed textured foods I thought)
when she found he ate cereal with milk on she decided that was a mixed texture and that was fine!!!!
The big problem we have is he is reluctant to eat any fruit or veg (he likes a thing to taste the same every time) and he does not drink enough so he regularly suffers constipation and has to take a laxative.
I really had hoped he could be helped to tolerate fruits/ vege and remove the laxative but this does not seem to be the aim - the OT then started saying its all about getting calories into him (not previously mentioned)
He is only 5 and a half stone though at aged 13 - the exact same weight as his 9 year old brother!!! And my 9 year old looks really skinny too. I also have a 6 foot 16 year old who is really skinny but even he is 9 stone 4 - a whole 4 stone more than my 13 year old.
Sorry I have hi jacked the thread - do you think I am right in wanting to get half a stone on my autistic child? I am thinking he needs the energy now to spurt a bit
HI Laura (and sorry Manjinder !)
if he is otherwise healthy and energetic then I really woudn't worry. As to the veg/fruit thing then that isn't going to help him put on weight. I would just keep offering and try cooking them different ways (roasted in oven with honey and butter or maybe pulped into a soup ?). I haven't done a lot of research on the issues that kids with autism in particular face with textures and there hasn't been a lot of research in any case on the whole subject of fussy eating. In America there was a study of an autistic boy who found the concept of reward worked for him when trying new foods but it didn't detail whether he had texture issues.
I've got a brother who is (to look at him) underweight. Doesn't matter what he eats (and he does eat loads of stuff) he just doesn't put weight on. Unfortunately he is the only one with that gene as me and my sister deffo don't have it !! It is his "normal". He's been like this all his life.
I'm sure your son will grow fine on his diet. My step son is very limited in food (has neophobia) and has grown absolutely fine now being 16 years old. He doesn't eat veg or fruit either. But he does swim and it has helped him develop some bulk in his body IYSWIM !
x
if he is otherwise healthy and energetic then I really woudn't worry. As to the veg/fruit thing then that isn't going to help him put on weight. I would just keep offering and try cooking them different ways (roasted in oven with honey and butter or maybe pulped into a soup ?). I haven't done a lot of research on the issues that kids with autism in particular face with textures and there hasn't been a lot of research in any case on the whole subject of fussy eating. In America there was a study of an autistic boy who found the concept of reward worked for him when trying new foods but it didn't detail whether he had texture issues.
I've got a brother who is (to look at him) underweight. Doesn't matter what he eats (and he does eat loads of stuff) he just doesn't put weight on. Unfortunately he is the only one with that gene as me and my sister deffo don't have it !! It is his "normal". He's been like this all his life.
I'm sure your son will grow fine on his diet. My step son is very limited in food (has neophobia) and has grown absolutely fine now being 16 years old. He doesn't eat veg or fruit either. But he does swim and it has helped him develop some bulk in his body IYSWIM !
x
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Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 4:49 pm
smoothies made of whole milk,cream,banana and peanut butter was suggested to me for my son
Anonymous
17/06/2012 at 4:50 pm
I wouldnt worry too much,i used to weight 7 n half stone till i was around 28,and no matter what i ate i couldnt put an ounce on,i hated it,i binged on food to try put weight on it diddnt work,sometimes our bodies are just made that way,if he is perfectly healthy otherwise i wouldnt worry about it too be honest.xx