My 16 year old daughter wants to go on holiday with her boyfriend
29 answers /
Last post: 20/03/2023 at 3:55 pm
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Niether of them needed any consent from me, Just a ride to the airport and back!
You would need to check. My daughter and her friend have flown with us and also her family several times when they were 13, 14 and 15. No one ever verified anything. Only the ferry returning to the Uk has every asked for any confirmation.
I would not be happy for my 16 year old daughter to go abroad without a responsible person in case of any problems arising.
I might consider a holiday depending if they had all bases covered. There were sensible discussions beforehand and I was happy with safety, alcohol, responsible choices etc.
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when i was 16 i was with a lad that my parents really didn't like (he was 21 at the time). i was banned from seeing him but i always found a way and went behind my parents backs and did it anyway - i fibbed about where I was and what i was doing "staying over with a friend" "i'm going out tonight with ... (anyone other than this lad)" etc etc. in the end i was found out and lost the trust of my parents and it caused no end of ructions between my parents and I. In the end, after long discussions / arguements / lectures about "being careful" with parents they agreed to let me see him - I then told them exactly where i was, who with and what I was doing, when I'd be home etc and I stuck by my side of the agreement. After a few months of this, I figured I'd only stayed with him for so long because I wasn't allowed to be with him - when my parents agreed that it was Ok, the excitement wasnt there anymore and I got shot of him My Dad only admitted a few months ago (16 years on!) that he should have stood back and let me get on with it in the first place - at least he'd have known where I was etc and though he didn't like it, it would have taken its natural course - whether that ended up with us being together long term / married / kids or just fizzle out - as it did.
anyway, i think what i'm trying to say is that (again, depending on your reasons for not wanting her to go away with him) I wonder if it's best if she does it with your blessing and mutual trust? if she's so inclined, she'll find a way anyway. I know you may not like it but if you have the agreement from her that perhaps she'll call every day and keeps you in the loop, doesn't let him affect schoolwork etc etc you may find that a week living in each others pockets break the relationship with him anyway. At 16 I wasn't really doing anything I shouldnt have been but I completely abused my parents trust - my life was so much easier after they extended that trust to me. I stuck to being in by 10pm on a school night, mum came with me to the GP for the contraceptive pill (she was not happy in the slightest BUT at least she knew i was taking it and unlikely to end up pregnant at 16 - she'd ask every now and again if i was taking it properly). I also let my parents know exactly where I was, when I'd be home and rang to say I was going to be late if I missed the bus or whatever. Boyfriend was also good at making sure I was back when I was supposed to be (think he was terrified to do otherwise!)
I try to put myself in your / my parents position and wonder what I'd do. At 14 or 15 I'd absolutely be putting my foot down but at 16 she is an adult and I think as a mother I'd rather she could talk to me about contraception, alcohol, boyfriends or anything than arguing and falling out with me. I have a 5year old son now and dread being in the position youre in now though!
Hope it works out for you and her
As for abroad, I have no idea. I think it would be up to the airline. An airline can be more picky, many are based in foreign countries where laws differ.
However I would imagine, as a 16 year old in the UK can apply for an adult passport, this entails that they are legally allowed to go abroad and there is nothing the Foreign Office can do to stop them if this is what the child wants. Not sure if this is a fact, but 16 seems to be the age in the UK whereby you don't need parents to make your decisions for you.
Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but it's just my interpretation on how the laws seems to stand here.
But if they are just a young couple in love wanting a holiday together - what's the harm in that?? She is probably having a sexual relationship with him anyway as she is 16 and I'd rather my dd have some lovely memories of her first serious boyfriend rather than the typical drunk in pub together scenario!!
At 16 they should be mature enough to manage a holiday together. Just ensure she knows where to get help if needed and make sure she keeps her passport herself, and perhaps give her access to some money and insist she doesn't tell him about it incase for some reason she needs a quick escape!
Maybe I'm too easy going but at 16 I think I'd be packing my dd a huge box of condoms and a bottle of factor 50 suncream and wishing her a lovely time!
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But if they are just a young couple in love wanting a holiday together - what's the harm in that?? She is probably having a sexual relationship with him anyway as she is 16 and I'd rather my dd have some lovely memories of her first serious boyfriend rather than the typical drunk in pub together scenario!!
At 16 they should be mature enough to manage a holiday together. Just ensure she knows where to get help if needed and make sure she keeps her passport herself, and perhaps give her access to some money and insist she doesn't tell him about it incase for some reason she needs a quick escape!
Maybe I'm too easy going but at 16 I think I'd be packing my dd a huge box of condoms and a bottle of factor 50 suncream and wishing her a lovely time!