Bi curious & don't know what to do
6 answers /
Last post: 15/03/2023 at 12:57 pm
Hi there,
I'm not sure where I am going with this but I need to finally sort this out. I have been bi curious for many years and have never acted on it. I am married with 2 children and currently due another.
I love hubby but he knows nothing of this. Nobody knows how I feel and I want to keep it private. Is it normal to feel like this? I want to explore but also afraid I may open up a rabbit hole. Would love to talk to others who feel similar or in similar situations. I live in Kent and 38 but feel like I can't keep pushing the curiosity away year after year. Thank you x
No matter the sexual preference.. you are saying you want to cheat on your husband.
You need to talk to him. Explain how you feel. Probably come as a huge shock from you as you said no one has ever known so might need to give him time to process it.
Come to some sort of agreement perhaps.. you say you love him - do you still want to be married to him? Or do you want to break up and explore your sexuality. Or see if he could accept a break, while you explore your feelings?
Any which way, unless you are happy to cheat on your husband - he's the one you need to talk to.
Just seen your post I’m in same situation except not married but with long term partner and I feel exactly how you do
No matter the sexual preference.. you are saying you want to cheat on your husband.
You need to talk to him. Explain how you feel. Probably come as a huge shock from you as you said no one has ever known so might need to give him time to process it.
Come to some sort of agreement perhaps.. you say you love him - do you still want to be married to him? Or do you want to break up and explore your sexuality. Or see if he could accept a break, while you explore your feelings?
Any which way, unless you are happy to cheat on your husband - he's the one you need to talk to.
I dont think it's fair to ask for a break to sleep around! Seriously, imagine the shoe was on the other foot. Husband wants a break from pregnant wife to explore sex with other people. World's gone mad, if people don't have to keep vows then why make them.
I think you need to be upfront and honest with him. Tell him exactly what you have said here, that you love him, maybe show him this post. Secrecy and lies are much worse than the deed itself! Most guys would think all their Christmases have come at once finding out there is a chance that their partner likes women, you only have to watch porn! It is usually two women one guy, show me a guy that can handle one woman let alone two - the old adage fantasy versus reality! I am bisexual, I am currently married to a man, he knows I am bi and knew from day one, but I am monogamous in this relationship. My previous hubby who relished the situation in a more open relationship where we explored group sex , threesomes etc. Funny how he did not mind when it was two girls and him, yet would never entertain the idea of two guys plus me?!? A confident guy will not feel threatened by your revelation and you cannot live your life regretting not finding out, you are not being true to yourself! There is a difference between love and sex, emphasise that you LOVE your hubby, but are curious.
I think there's a huge difference between being bi-curious/bisexual, and wanting to cheat. I'm, 35 and have been with my husband since I was 18. Since then I've realised I'm probably bisexual. But I'm married, so I don't expect anything to ever come of it, so there's no point in bringing it up. Just like heterosexual women don't have to cheat with other men, just because they're attracted to men.
By all means discuss it with your husband if you feel you need to. Who knows - he might even be open to a threesome or something. But unless you're planning to ask permission to sleep with a woman, I can't really see why it's important.
