Early health worker

This sounds like a truly horrible experience for you all. She's clearly a young lady struggling alot with something and if she's in a abusive relationship with coercive control she will be struggling to get away from it. Sounds like her mental health is not in a good place, have the GP been involved? Counselling maybe? She might find it easier to talk to someone in confidence. How old is she?

She probably thinks she knows best and that you're against her. I'd try and remain calm and take all the help and support you can for her.

I would do what you said, get her a cheap phone with a basic SIM that she can use to contact people if she needs too. I'd personally want something with internet so u can have a location app so that you are able to see where she is.

Agree that she has mental health problems. I wouldnt replace anything she smashes. Shes doing this as a way to hurt you. I think you should give her a pay as you go mobile phone but not put any/much cash on it she can make emergency phone calls on that. I think you can get some childrens phones with a designated contact on them so that thry can always call you if they havent got credit. This all seems like attention seeking behaviour so in some ways you are reinforcing the behaviour with your response. You need advice about how to control this . Has she been diagnosed with borderline disorder?

She shouldnt have a tv in her room she should watch tv with the family. Spend the money you woyld have spent on all this stuff taking her out or paying for her to join clubs where she can make friends. Does she have any close female friends?

Stressful situation for you all and quiet draining too :(

perhaps a form of alternative therapy (that doesn’t appear as obvious therapy) could be helpful in calming behaviours and supporting well being?

is this something your daughter may be open to?

equine therapy is showing increasing positive outcomes for changing challenging behaviour

it’s using horses to build trust and improve self esteem and confidence

another one more local to me is surfing. It’s called The Wave project

you might find it helpful to to research some alternative wellbeing support initiatives local to you that may help your daughter manage her emotions

they clearly feel too big for her to cope with by the overwhelm you describe

also it’s also important that children learn in a healthy way about consequences from their actions. If your child is neuro diverse then that presents some challenges on how you manage that and perhaps seeking advice from a service designed to support people with those conditions may be more helpful than cahms

The mental health worker said she needed a phone to call for help if she did run. So no, all she needs is a basic pay as you go phone, all she has to be able to do is call 999 or you on it.

As others have said, anything she smashes I would not replace, they are luxury items. You break it, it's broke. If she wants a new one well she's going to have to pay for it herself. She's clearly holding it over your head and knows what she's doing by stating she was going to smash it.

your idea of a pay as you go phone is perfect .also please stop replacing what she smashed .she smashed it so should pay the price .you need to send her string nesssges she can’t continue to treat her home like that.also she may need counselling .school may provide this and can do it even if camhs are involved

Things got alot worse, after taking the overdose and been discharged from the hospital and cahms saying that there was no one to see her and take her home and they would see her day after she then tried to hang herself and self harmed, so police got called and we was taken up to hospital was in there for less than 2hrs as was told its a mental health matter, cahms once again said no one to come down and see her, so we finally go and see the Crisis team where she openly told them she wants to be dead ect. They decided that they might have to go down the mental health act and would call us later on that day, on way home, she decided to try and jump out of car, then tie a phone charger around her neck, so we called cahms who told us to call police, she was than sectioned under 136 act, taken away where she had a health assessment they decided she didn't need help and discharged her at 11pm at night within 1hr of been back at home, she had kicked off and ran out so police called again, she was then taken back to 136 suit and stayed for just under 24hrs where she then had another health assessment and it was decided that sectioning her wouldn't help her due to her learning disabilities. So she came home, things have settled down, but she is still having up and down days. Still lazy and doesn't like it when we tell her she needs to actually bring her plates down, washing ect and ask her to get up during the day instead of sleeping till 6pm and been awake till 6am. Says she doesn't want to live here as she doesn't like rules. Doesn't want to go to college, doesn't want to get a job. She has now pressed charges against the boyfriend.

She was also due to start new adhd medication but the new dr she is under agrees that alot of the risk taking is due to her not been on adhd medication but because she has attempted suicide they have said it's to risky to give her adhd medication. Even though the medication will be in my locked bedroom inside my locked wardrobe inside a locked box. So she can't get to anything. So asked GP to refer us for a 2nd opinion.

Yhe early health worker i haven't seen her since. We do have a social worker now who we have met once and due to see her again this week.