Advice re school and sen

Hi Crispybutterfly,

I’m Kayleigh, one of the parent supporters at Netmums. I’m sorry to hear that your son has been struggling at school. You have done a fantastic job in continuing to advocate for him. I imagine it’s been frustrating that counselling still hasn’t started, I wonder if he is currently on a wait list? You could also look into mental health support for him outside of school through your GP, they will be able to make a referral for him for talking therapies.

Young Minds have some helpful information about supporting a child with anxiety here too: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/anxiety/#Howtohelpyourchildmanagetheiranxiety

It sounds like the meeting with school has left you and your son feeling very confused. Children can be eligible for an IEP if they have a condition that falls under one of the disability categories in the Disabilities Education Act. This does include something called ‘emotional disturbances’ which covers anxiety. From what you have mentioned I suspect this is why your son has this plan in place, but the school could have explained this in more detail in your meeting. Would you feel comfortable to contact them to ask for some further information? You do deserve an explanation about how they came to this decision.

If you would like some further help from the parent supporter team, you can make a thread in our drop in clinic here: https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/child-mental-health-1029/

Take care,

Kayleigh

OK... So it sounds like they have done this without actually thinking about what can be causing this behaviour... Basically putting on the list because of 'behaviour'

Does your son have any kind of diagnosis at all?.has anyone suggested to you that you should seek diagnosis?/offered a referral? Have they applied for an EHCP?? (are you aware you can do this as a parent?)

Have you researched things like ADHD and Autism (also look into PDA)? If you research and think it fits your son find out how to get a referal in your area. Some areas it's GP others you can self refer..

Sending hugs xx things must be hard for you if he's struggling in school... How is he at home?

There is a great Facebook group which is really good for supporting families who have children struggling at school.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/NFISFamilySupport/?ref=share

School have to ensure he fits the criterion to be added. It is not a decision they can take without checking his needs. It can include behaviour if this is stopping your son learning or reaching his potential. They do however needs parental agreement. It means he will get additional support and monitoring to try to find what will work best for him. So some trial and error is needed but also reasonable adjustment to keep him in school.

He can also come off the register if he no longer needs support. Even clever children are on the register because they have encountered a barrier that is hampering their learning.

Speak to SENDco about their plans which can include pastoral support for anxiety, help to get him into school and finding out what is bothering him.

It is always a very positive action to be added to the register and with support he can grow to be the best person he can be.

No formal diagnosis is needed and he is at the lower level of need. Support can make a massive difference and just having a person to talk with when he feels out of sorts can be extremely helpful

My DD is on the SEN register for anxiety which presents in a stammer. Through her being on this register the school was able to refer her and get her assessed for autism and adhd which i am very thankful for as i wanted to make sure she had the full support for it if she did indeed have it.

Turns out she doesn't have either. She has traits of autism but not enough to reach the threshold. Purely academically she does very well and her scores are great, and the school offered to remove her from the register but i feel that her anxiety and emotional needs will become overlooked if she isn't on there as its not affecting her academically, so i asked for her to stay on it. Honestly, im glad i did this as we have been able to access speech therapy and DD has a support plan in place and someone to talk to etc and the school has the funding allocated to her which she wouldnt have when being on the register.

I guess what im rounding up is being on the SEN register doesn't mean your DS has a diagnosis or anything to be ashamed about, it just means he needs a little extra help and being on there means the school can access funding to helpm them provide that and it also means that all the staff are aware of what his extra needs are.

For me it is 100% a good thing that my DD is on it and it is very discreet, none of the other parents or kids know.

Things can go downhill rapidly at Secondary school. It sounds very much like school isn't a good fit for him.

Have you considered home schooling? It's not as wildly strange as you imagine. Post pandemic huge numbers of children were happier at home and never went back to school.

My son goes to school part time and part time homes schools. We used to do full time school, then full time home, now a bit of both which is working well.

Just a wee thought :)

(Also, I'm an ex-Secondary headteacher. I know exactly how stressful school can be for some kids).

Hiya, I’m a SEN specialist, and have a degree in SEN ☺️

Social emotional and mental health needs, are an area under the SEND code of practice.

Special Educational needs, are any needs that require additional provision to the standard offer.

SEN does not have to mean learning disability. The fact that your son may require counselling at a higher level, or additional staffing to deal with disruptive behaviour, or anything else that the school doesn’t provide as standard, is SEN.

The school has to demonstrate use of a graduated response to your sons mental health needs, and therefore are starting the process of a more individualised approach to learning, which will hopefully remove barriers and support his education.

So yes he has SEN, no that does not mean he’s disabled, and yes it’s a good thing he is getting more support! His school sounds like a good one, so many schools ignore the mental health aspect and just exclude!

Can I also add, no disrespect to others, but alot of what others have said is incorrect. I’d take most of it with a pinch of salt.

He doesn’t need a diagnosis to have SEN or SEMH, the legal definition is purely about additional and extra educational provision. He absolutely doesn’t need an EHCP, that’s for children with the most profound needs, who’s needs cannot be met using the graduated response. Considering he’s not even begun graduated response yet, an EHCP would be a massive overreaction.

Good morning...I just read your note. My son is special needs and acts out when he gets anxious. He was at

Sorry got cut off. He was at the same school til this year. Home schooling til next year. I feel its the schools job to help and support your child. If the are not then find someone that will help and care. Keep me posted. And I'll do the same. Aron.

Has he been assessed for ADHD?

Wait and see what is put in place and communicate to school.

So many home school children are trying to get back into education and finishing up in schools that have only places for a reason.

Home schooling is an option when considered and thought through but schools regularly support a wide range of children with behaviour issues ever day. Being on the SEND register means they are also less likely to be excluded. There are lots of parents out there without the basic skills to educate a child and frequently when the children try to get back into school in year 6 they are years behind and can not engage or negotiate with other children. It works for some but my experience of appeals and exclusion panels is that many being seen are previously HE children with a lack of skills to interact with their peers.