Opinion

You could voice your concerns so she knows but I wouldn't miss it just go to the day bit see her get married only be an hour and leave kids home and then leave don't go night doo etc younwouldnt want to miss seeing your little sister get married on her special day x recovery maybe alot quicker this time but at least turn up watch her get married then go it would be upsetting not see your own sister get married xx

That's the thing she wants the kids at her wedding but taking a new born to a wedding with so many ppl makes me anxious and my soon to be 1 year old being around loads of ppl might make her unsettled

I agree with Laura. You can't miss the wedding ceremony, you'll regret it. I took my newborn to a wedding renewal at a church, carried him in a car seat, he slept through it but had he not my hubby wouldve took him outside. We stayed for photos afterwards and went home. It was nice to dress up and feel human again. And i had an horendous birth. You can't anticipate how you'll be feeling so I wouldn't tell her you're not going just yet. It's nice she's including the children, many don't. But I get it, taking v small children to these things can be stressful, we worry they'll get bored and play up and embarrass us lol and I also get a bit of social anxiety so I know how you feel so If you didnt want to stay for the entire day/evening taking the children would give you a good excuse to leave early.

Hi Annie. I totally get it but how you do what the other ladies have said? just go for the service & photos. Tell your sister after the photos that you need to feed the baby, you’re still sore after the delivery & that you need sort the 1 year old too (she may get grouchy because it might be food/nappy/sleep time) tell her she looks beautiful & you’re really happy for her but please don’t be upset if you might not make it back for the rest of the days festivities/evening function & you’ll get together & have a catch up when things have calmed down for yourself & her.

We had children at our wedding & they certainly brought more joy & laughter to the service & then after the wedding breakfast we gave presents to our mums, the witnesses & a gift for every child who attended & told them they were so good during the day & it was to thank them for that.

best wishes & I hope you feel well enough to dress up for a few hours too.

Lx

No two pregnancies or births are the same. I was left unable to walk for a month after my first child, yet with my others i was up and showered, ready to go home within 10, 15 mins with the home birth I waved the midwives off and go on with dinner.... so don't judge what your second birth will be like just based on the first as they won't be the same.

Having lots of people around your 1 Yr old is good... lots of helpers on hand to entertain her, dance etc.... its good for her to be around people ?? Make sure you don't push your own anxieties into the kids.

Why don't you speak to your sister and say, depending on how the birth goes maybe you just go to the daytime to see the ceremony and then not attend the evening.

No 2 births and recoveries are the same, you might be fine after thule 2nd. I know I was...

Hi Annie, I would just say your not going, apart from being due a new baby and having toddler, having social anxiety is the worst, especially the worrying on the run up to an event you don't want to go to. It's not good for you or your baby. Put yourself first, this is your life not anyone elses. Just politely say your not going to go and you don't want to spend now till then worrying about how to tell you so your telling her now ♥️

I do think you will regret missing your little sister getting married.

However I've never suffered with social anxiety, so I have no idea what you are going through and how hard this will be for you.

Can you check the seating plan to make sure you are only with your immediate family, who will love love love to be around your children. You may even get to eat a meal hot with others wanting cuddles etc.

If you really can't manage to go to the wedding reception or evening do, can you leave the children at home with your other half, go by yourself. Watch her get married, be in the photos and then go home.

Having only 1 child, I don't know from personal experience but from what I know from all my friends and family, no 2 birth stories are the same. My mum had 6 and said not a single thing was the same. And until you've given birth, you won't know how you feel

After my first birth, I was uncomfortable for quite some time (it was a forceps delivery). But after my second, I felt right as rain within 10 minutes and healed with no trouble at all. I have friends that have had c sections who have been feeling well by about 2 weeks post birth, so you may find that you physically feel up to it by then. I would have a word with your sister and voice your concerns about managing with a newborn and a toddler and maybe suggest that after the ceremony and photos that you might need to pop off early if the kids are unsettled. Or maybe you could speak to your mum or partner and ask them to help you with the little ones on the day?

Sometimes you just have to suck it up

Don't go. In with a negative attitude to what if this what if that. Your sister is getting married and wants you to celebrate and wants the kids to celebrate.

The kids will jap in the bedroom or their pram makesurr you have space for quiet time and let her know that you all will need that and leave between sit down meal and party.

Hi!

I just had my second baby on 22nd Feb. My friend got married on the 26th March and I had agreed to go.

So last time I delivered naturally and recovered well. This time I had a c-section and recovery was hellish. By the time of the wedding I could barely eat and was on some prescription tablets, couldn’t pick up my 3 year old, was napping a lot, stomach pain, night feeds etc.

I went to the wedding. I left the kids at home with my mum. I wore flat shoes (an absolute must!) I stayed for the ceremony, pictures and meal and speeches. I then had to admit defeat as I hurt and was tired. It was lovely to catch up with some friends. Also it was mainly sitting around so wasn’t as bad as I may have imagined.

I’m glad I went, I think you would really regret missing your sisters wedding. People will understand if you need to leave early, they will just be glad you made the effort to come.