my 12 year old is out of control and has started to hit me.
19 answers /
Last post: 05/03/2023 at 8:09 am
also he bites our 6 year old and he lashes out at our 3 year old.
thing is in front of everyone like agencies i.e. school, barnados he's very angelic. ticks all the right boxes and gives all the right answers as what he's supposed to do, but when he gets home he's a complete disaster, as much as we try to be a family when he is around, it just doesn't work.
we need as much support, advice and guidance as possible to help us to keep sane!!!
Is it possible to control his behaviour by stopping him from having priveldges such as pocket money or TV? It is very hard if they are violent, I would be tempted to shut him in the garden until he calms down, although I've no clue if that is the right thing to do!
he doesn't watch telly as he's mostly in his room. we have tried the garden, thing is hes shares a room with the 6 year old and spits on him and rocks the bunk neds so he can't get to sleep. any ideas????
Tweens and teens
naughty step won't work!! 3 year old out of control
Tweens and teens
My 14 year old daughter is out of control :(
Tweens and teens
My 3 and half year old boy is out of control. HELP?!
Tweens and teens
12 year old daughter out of control
Tweens and teens
My 12 year old has no friends :(
Tweens and teens
OUT OF CONTROL TEENS
Tweens and teens
11 year old getting out of control :(
any more ideas??
other bad news is i'm a childminder and my 12 year old has already cost me 2 jobs in the space of 10 months.
You are at risk of action being taken if your lo's bites are noticed at school. It would be a better situation for all for you to seek the help. Social Services would call a child protection meeting and decided if you are ultimately able to keep your 6 year old safe, shaking the bed when they are trying to sleep sounds like a very difficult thing for you to be in control of.
Do you have any ideas why he behaves like this? I presume he's never seen anyone else behave in these ways and this is perhaps an extreme form of attention seeking. How is he finding school?
If you'd find it difficult to speak to your GP, then perhaps you could speak with your HV.
It sounds as if you've already sought some help - Barnardos, How does he behave in front of you within the house?
I'm not sure what my line of thinking is but would it be possible to video the behaviour? or keep a diary of when it happens. Did barnardos speak to your 6 yo? Does your 6 yo feel really uncomfortable all the time, is he perhaps in fear of what the 12yo might do??
Who does your 12yo spend time with at school? Are they people you would choose him to be friends with? Is he following someone elses lead, or leading others? Does he do any out of school activities or have any hobbies?
Sorry, not much help. Just trying to gain a better picture.
thanx for all your advice.
Tweens and teens
what do you do with 12 year old/holidays?
Tweens and teens
12 year old daughter School refusal and anxiety
Tweens and teens
HELP!! My 13 yr old daughter out of control
Tweens and teens
My 10 year old is developing breasts.
Tweens and teens
Do you leave your 11/12 year old on their own?
Tweens and teens
12 year old daughter can't keep her friends
Tweens and teens
are we right to lock up my out of control 14 year old daughter ?
I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through. I know someone else in your position, you are not the only one with this problem.
Try Care for the Family ( www.careforthefamily.org.uk if you have internet, or tel. 029 2081 0800 / email: mail@cff.org.uk . - they are a brilliant organisation who have local networks and advice on who to contact. They focus on all aspects of family life or breakdown in our world today, and are a brilliant bunch of guys. They also have lots of books/resources/newsletters etc.
Wishing you the very best.
Liz
I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through. I know someone else in your position, you are not the only one with this problem.
Try Care for the Family ( www.careforthefamily.org.uk if you have internet, or tel. 029 2081 0800 / email: mail@cff.org.uk . - they are a brilliant organisation who have local networks and advice on who to contact. They focus on all aspects of family life or breakdown in our world today, and are a brilliant bunch of guys. They also have lots of books/resources/newsletters etc.
Wishing you the very best.
Liz
Check the food in which you are giveing him or sweets as when my daughter was young she was so hyper and it all came from what she was eating. Try no artifical c in sweets or fruit is better.
I know where you are comeing from as coke was a big one and sweets
Tweens and teens
Help please my sons just fell and hit his head on concrete?
Tweens and teens
My 12 year old has no friends :(
Tweens and teens
My 12 year old refusing to go to school
Tweens and teens
How late should a 12 year old girl stay out on a school night?
Tweens and teens
Taking son out of school for holiday -advice please
Tweens and teens
12 year old is horrible, nasty, vile, spitefull and downright rude.
So sorry to hear what you are going through, I hope you have now sorted things out but if you would ever like to chat pm me. I do understand what you are going through I have a daughter who is 15 and have been having trouble with her for over 2 years now. Friday she had a knife at my 6 year old sons throat and when the police came they said "But it was only a Butter knife!!!" Can you imagine that? A 10 inch nail can do damage if you put enough force behind it and that is not the point. Police did nothing. So do not hesitate to contact me because it does help to talk and I feel sure that all the other members would say the same thing. That is what we are here for. Good luck and let us know how you go on.
Janet
I was in touch with Social Services who came round, but because his siblings were well behaved and clean and well fed, they decided there was nothing they could do for me.
If he is leaving any kind of marks on you or your youngest, photograph and show the police.
If he is hitting you outside the home, this is classed as assault. And he could get arrested for it. It might even be an idea to have a word with the police, and see if they can offer any ideas. If his behaviour at any time has you worried he might hurt you or your other son, then call 999 immediately.
I know it might seem a bit harsh, but when the police are called, social services can then act (in some cases), also you can call the child protection team and tell them about your concerns, and tell them its not sibling rivalry it is domestic violence. Also nspcc.
There are different agencies out there, but the thing is even if you get back negative feedback, dont give up, you have to be persistant with social services, i found it very hard going. I never gave into my son, if he didn't get what he wanted, he used to kick off, i even grounded him for six weeks, locking the windows and doors so he couldn't get out. (and i hid his shoes too).
What about an action plan or a contract. If you can talk to him, no arguments from either side, explain that his behaviour is unacceptable, but to carry on living in your house, he has to abide by your rules, let him choose a punishment and make it part of the contract.
Determination. Teens know what buttons to press, but we have to stay strong. I was able to talk to my son and we had quite a good relationship in the end, it can take ages to get there.
I hope you find the help you need. If at anytime you want to chat, then please pm me. There are a few other agencies that i can put you in touch with if you want. Let me know.
Best wishes
Caz xx