16year old recluse
3 answers /
Last post: 17/04/2023 at 6:32 am
Please can someone give me some advice on my daughter. I’m at a loss. She’s Aspergers and Anxiety, The Anxiety affects her far worse. She’s all but lost her last two remaining close friends, reasons I wont go into detail about. She’s now been chatting and playing on line with new friends her own age. Not a problem. I know this is genuine, she hides nothing, we’ve always been close.
The issue is, she’s doing her exams May & June - Maths, English & physics (she’s home schooled by LA so this has been a battle for 4 years). She started by having ‘the odd late night’, which over the course of the Easter holidays and just before, has turned into gaming all night long and sleeping until 3 in the afternoon. She’s no interest in doing anything I offer, has no ambition or motivation in life to do anything. She now rarely leaves the house. She’s already on Sertraline max dose to help with the anxiety, which initially I think did help. Someone please help, i don’t know what to do anymore and feel like a failure as a mother.
Hi Lisa,
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thank you for reaching out and sharing with us. I can hear how worried you are about your daughter so sending you a gentle hug this evening.
Lisa, has your daughter mentioned that she is feeling that she has 'no interest in doing anything I offer, has no ambition or motivation in life to do anything' or is it something you have noticed? Do you feel worried about her mood? You've mentioned that her sleep and routine have changed and she has developed a love of gaming - do you think those changes may be impacting her interest in other things? Could you speak with the professional that has prescribed her Sertraline and give them an update about what you're noticing? Maybe they may be able to review the support your daughter receives and see what else might be available to her.
It's lovely to hear that you and your daughter are close and she can be open with you. It sounds like you have a lovely relationship. Would you be able to share your worries with her and tell her what you have noticed? Have you heard of an organisation called Young Minds? They have lots of really useful information around Mental Health for Parents and young people, including blogs and stories from real young people. I'll link here in case it's a resource you or your daughter might like to explore:
Autism and Mental Health | Signs & Symptoms of Autism | YoungMinds
Lisa, you sound like you are really tuned into your daughter and how she is feeling. Parenting teens is tough and I'm sure what you have shared will resonate with our community. Hopefully they will be along soon to offer some support. In the meantime, please come back to us if you would like to chat some more
Catherine
Need to treat this like one would with a drug addict.
Remove all her equipment. Never return it to her bedroom, when the time is right (if ever and only following going through treatment) put it in the living room - or a communal area where she’s not able to shut herself off.
When she goes on it pull the plug after 60 mins and be firm and consistent.
So so important to research the effects of gaming on the brain. And so important to research the interference with the developing brain of a child and see what stages they should be at. Imagine your kid in a world where gaming didn’t exist. Even with their condition, what would life look for them, who would they be?
You’re not a failure at all. We’re fed this crap all the time and advertising rules the world. But you can take back control, especially in her formative years when it will really make a difference long term.
But seriously, treat it like she’s on drugs love ☮️💪