BABY

30 tips to survive your first 30 days with a newborn

Last modified on Monday 1 August 2022

Netmums' official midwife, Marie Louise, reveals her must-know tips for surviving your first month as parents of a newborn.

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Ah, newborns. So small, so delicious, so good to sniff!

But having a newborn isn't all endless cuddles while watching Loose Women!

Having a new baby in the house can be as overwhelming as it is exciting and, for first time parents especially, there can be many a 'what the heck have we done?!' moment. Usually about 3am when you've yet to close your eyes even once.

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Netmums' midwife, and new parent herself, Marie-Louise has shared 30 must-read tips to help new parents get few those exhausting first 30 days with a newborn in one, semi sane piece.

1. Have a postpartum plan ready

Most expectant parents have a solid birth plan, they know their options and what they would prefer but when it comes to the postnatal period planning can go on the back burner.

But, in order for you to flourish as a new parent, you need to plan for and build in a few things. Here are a couple of ideas to get you going:

  • Have a feeding plan for your baby
    How do you want to feed? What do you know about that method of feeding? Do you have support numbers and websites to refer to should you need it?
  • Have a people to call upon list
    Write down all the people you know that can help. Have a place you can quickly pull that information from. Whether it's a note stuck to your fridge or a note on your phone it doesn’t matter – having them all in one place helps!

2. Use mat leave to prep and freeze

You don’t want to be cooking as a new mum but you’ll very much want and need hearty meals to replenish you.

Doing a bit of meal prep and planning during your maternity leave can really help ease the burden of having to think about what to cook, shop and actually do any cooking.

I prepped 20 meals and stacked my freezer, they were gone in less than a month as my other half and I demolished them!

3. Skin-to-skin helps

Newborns love to be held and carried – it's the number one thing that can help calm and settle babies. Invest in a carrier or sling to comfort them and leave your hands free and it's a win-win.

4. Baby grows are designed to be pulled down

Many new parents don’t realise that baby grows are designed to be pulled down over the babies shoulders as well as up over their head.

So simple but a real game changer when you're changing a poo-nami nappy!

5. It’s normal for it to take time to bond with your baby

You may see posts like ‘one week of loving you’ on Instagram making you question your own bond with your baby if you don't get that instant rush of love that people talk about.

Please don’t worry if this is you.

Having a baby can still come as a shock, no matter how much preparation you have done for it.

I am obsessed with my little one but I’ve been very honest online about the fact I did not get that instant rush of love. I was in shock for about a week as she arrived three weeks early!

6. Chose your visitors wisely

I always say to parents, visiting time is not an opportunity for people to come and sit in your house and cuddle your baby while you make tea.

Visiting time should be seen as an extra pair of hands and an opportunity to get some help!

Let visitors know ahead of time that you would like them to bring a hot meal, maybe give you a helping hand with the house or hold the baby while you take a nap/shower.

The more mums set this as their expectation the more it will become the norm for the following generation. We need to get better at helping new mums rather than having an expectation of them.

7. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed

Within these first 30 days A LOT happens and it's totally normal to feel a little unsure of yourself and your decisions, or just simply out of your depth – especially if this is your first baby.

It does pass and there are so many phases - before you know it you’ll be onto the next one, so try not to worry too much!

8. Don't put off your first postnatal poo

Sounds odd but really you need to know how to help yourself here. Whether you have a c-section or a vaginal birth your postnatal poo maybe a cause for concern. Here are my top tips to help:

  • get a foot stall/shoe box so your legs are raised
  • drink plenty of water and eat lots of fibre
  • try not to hold it out of fear and go as soon as you feel the need to
  • you can hold a clean pad against your perineum to help support the area.

9. Report your concerns

Report any symptoms you did not have pre-pregnancy as soon as possible, such as leaking urine, prolapse, back pain or pain during sex.

You do not have to just put up with this.

If you have any concerns tell a healthcare professional such as your midwife, health visitor or GP so you can get the care and support you deserve to heal and resolve any postnatal problems.

Please don’t be embarrassed and go with your gut. If something doesn't feel right, report it.

10. Write things down

It can be hard to spot patterns with feeding and sleeps when you're exhausted and sleep deprived.

Writing things down in a pad can be really handy – whether it's what side they fed from last, what time their feed was or writing down observations so you don't forget, a notebook is a handy tool in the first month (and beyond!)

11. Remember, recovery takes time

It takes time for your body to heal and recover from birth and this process is different for every mum.

There are so many variables involved such as pre-pregnancy health and fitness, your pregnancy journey and any complications that arise, birth experience, any wound healing and your postnatal condition/environment.

Please, please do not compare yourself to anyone else. This is your journey and it’s a unique one.

12. Lavender baths can help heal wounds

Some studies have shown that lavender oil can help reduce redness and aid healing of the perineum so consider a nice relaxing lavender bath to help heal any trauma down below.

13. Leave snacks everywhere

Seriously, in the glove compartment of the car, the living room window seal, your bedside table and your favourite coat pocket. You can never have enough snacks in those early weeks and months! Anything you can eat one handed is great AND have a bottle of water on the go with you.

14. You will sleep again

During those first 30 days you are in the thick of sleep deprivation.

Maybe you’re cluster feeding your baby until midnight or waking regularly for those night feeds and it feels like you’ll never get a full nights sleep again.

You will. I promise, although it might not be for a while it does pass and they do sleep longer, or through the night eventually. If you have any concerns over your baby’s latch/feeding behaviours seek early advice and support.

15. Follow your baby’s lead

Let your baby guide your routine.

It may sound counterintuitive but they will fall into a pattern themselves. Napping, feeding and wake periods. They tend to develop their own routine and have their own internal clock so take the pressure off yourself and just go with what your baby needs.

16. Skin-to-skin is often a magical cure

Newborns love being close and feeling like they’re still part of your body in skin to skin.

That said, it doesn’t always have to be you – your partner/a family member can have skin to skin with your baby and this can help them bond too.

Skin-to-skin may sound simple but it has long lasting effects and helps with a number of the physiological changes they experience to adjust to life outside the womb, such as temperature and respiratory regulation as well as reducing stress hormones for both you and your baby.

17. Replenish the changing bag when you get home

After getting out and about try to get into the habit of replacing what you’ve used in the changing bag as soon as you get home.

It’s so much easier to have everything you need ready to leave rather than rushing out the door and forgetting or frantically stuffing nappies into your changing bag as you’re dashing out.

18. Its okay to be honest about how you feel

There’s a common misconception that you will be judged for how you feel or even worse, authorities will get involved and question your ability. That’s not the case.

All healthcare professionals way you to be well, happy and be with your baby. It’s perfectly safe to tell us what you’re really thinking and feeling. In fact, it can even prevent mental health problems from worsening.

19. You are the expert

You may not feel like it but you are.

No one knows your baby or your body like you do. Always be forthcoming with information about you or your baby and don’t be afraid to correct professionals or well-meaning friends and family.

20. Check your iron

After you have a baby, you'll have lost blood so it’s important to ensure that you are getting enough iron rich food in your diet.

If not then you may want to consider taking a supplement to help support your iron levels, in particular. Anaemia affects billions of people worldwide and women are far more at risk due to pregnancy and blood loss.

Ask your midwife or GP about iron supplements.

Need advice?

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21. Your relationship will change

It sounds obvious but not enough couples are prepared for the drastic change.

Sometimes it can feel as though you’re living very different lives. Especially if your partner returns to work within those 30 days and you’re at home with the baby. Communication is key and helps prevent the build up of emotion.

22. Choose naps over housework

Rest = recovery and as cliché as it sounds, the best thing you can do is sleep when the baby sleeps, especially in those first 30 days anyway!

Your rest is crucial and the house work or dishes can wait.

23. If in doubt, get out!

If your mind starts to get a little busy, you’re struggling to settle your baby or perhaps you’re just not feeling yourself simply getting out, in the fresh air can work wonders for the whole family.

Walking is also a great way to aid recovery and support healthy blood flow - reducing the chances of blood clots.

24. White noise works

Not 100% of the time but for the vast majority of babies white noise does help calm and settle them.

Even putting the hairdryer or tumble dryer on can stop a baby from crying (if you’ve run through the obvious things like hunger, dirty nappy etc).

Babies are used to constant loud noises, from your blood whooshing around your womb to your heartbeat, voice and (charming) bowel sounds. They don’t like silence!

25. Find your tribe

You'll probably gravitate to certain people after birth and you may drift apart from others.

Having a mummy tribe is an important part of getting the right social support and having someone to voice note at 3am who's also up and wanting to chat shouldn’t be underestimated!

26. Night lights are great

Waking up in the middle of the night is hard enough, let alone it being pitch black and not being able to see! But having some soft lighting can make it that bit more bearable AND make night feeds easier all round.

27. Things seem worse than they are

Your baby’s cry will sound louder and feel far more distressing to you than anyone else, which is why you'll wake up to the slightest whimper and your other half will stay fast asleep. It’s a part of mum life!

28. Consider a mummy M.O.T.

These full check-ups with a women’s health physio therapist are becoming more popular, and rightly so!

Getting a top to toe is a really good idea no matter what type of birth you had. You can get specific advice and exercises to help aid your recovery and diagnose any problems. Early intervention is key.

29. Take as many photos as possible

They grow so fast and those early pictures are so precious. And ask friends and family to snap you with your baby, too! So many mums end up with pictures of their baby, but none with them in it!

30. Trust your mum-stinct

Your maternal instinct is really quite incredible, often correct and something to draw upon.

Trust it when it talks to you or tells you what’s right or wrong.

You got this!

Want to be prepared? Why not invest in Heidi Murkoff's best-selling guide – What To Expect – The 1st Year . See more details here at Amazon.

Are you a first-time parent? Join your due-date club in our forum below to talk to other parents-to-be about all things pregnancy and birth-related ...

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