Short tempered and self destructive 10 year old
3 answers /
Last post: 31/03/2023 at 9:30 am
The last 3-6 months my ten year old boy has become really self destructive in his friendships at school and his relationship with his teachers.
He has lost good friends that he has had all his life, often after physical altercations and he point blank refuses to do school work, often rude to any grown up at school.
in addition he is refusing to go to his dads house when it’s their time.
I know it may seem obvious that maybe he is acting out due to something happening at his dads but I can’t get anything concrete out of him.
I have worked with the school (emotional support teachers), parents of friends, offered praise rewards for good behaviour rather than punishing bad and I spend time with him.
My son is mostly good at home which is relief.
We have good days and then fall right back. I would be grateful for any tips or ideas on how to help
him better?
sorry I’m new to net mums, apologise if this is too long!
Hi Katy,
I’m Kayleigh, one of the parent supporters at Netmums. Thank you for sharing with us and welcome to Netmums, we have a lovely community of parents here and I’m sure they will be along soon to share their own experiences and advice. I’ve requested for your thread to be moved in our Drop in Clinic so we can support you further
I hear you are already doing a lot to support your son with this. I wonder what the school has put in place to support your son, have they offered anything such as counselling or anger management for example?
You mentioned that ‘ maybe he is acting out due to something happening at his dads but I can’t get anything concrete out of him.’ Has your son had a good relationship with his dad previously? I imagine it is difficult for you to have to wonder what has happened, but do keep giving your son opportunities to share. Though he may be reluctant to say at the moment, this could change in the future.
Sometimes, when we see a child displaying angry behaviour such as fighting, this could point to underlying issues of feeling low or anxious. Young Minds have some useful advice on how to respond to this behaviour and ways to help: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/anger/#HowcanIrespondtomychildinthemomentwhentheygetangry
Wishing you all the best,
Kayleigh
Hi Katy,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic - child mental health, so you can get the advice and support you need