Social services

You can ask for information to keep your child safe. Safeguarding trumps GDPA but it depends on the understanding and training of the person. Your partner can make an SAR about the information held about him regarding its accuracy but they are not obliged to reveal everything depending again on any safeguarding risk this may produce. You can also ask the police for info on any sex offences he may have been charged or considered for. This may go someway to exclude some of the thoughts going through your head. If he is a risk to one child this should also apply to another child.

Hence you do need more information to keep your child safe. I would say ask whatever you wish but be able to express why you need this info.

Hi Dani,

I had a situation with my sons dad. He didn't tell me thr full truth.

Basically if you are a responsible parent and put the needs of your baby 1st then your baby will stay with you. If you partner has grown up and is now a responsible adult then they're assessments will be in vain.

What they will do is make sure YOU have all the support you need to be the best mother you can. SS will not be able to tell you everything but your SW will know what happened and will advise you properly.

As a new mother who thought social services was there to take your child away I was initially warey of them but as long as you work with them they are really helpful and supportive.

Don't worry about it if you know you have nothing to hide from them.

Good luck

Have not been in your situation but when my first was a baby, a neighbour reported us to social services to cause problems. I was so worried. They came, talked to us, saw it for what it was and closed the case. I really think you have nothing to worry about.

I more see red flags with your partner. Did you know he had a child at all? For sure I would not marry him in hurry.

As you have a child that is impacted you are entitled to all of the information and you can say that your child’s welfare is your primary priority and you need to know what risks there are to your child. As this will help you assess the circumstances you want your child born into and one of those may be you want to finish the relationship if risks have been kept from you.

I know of a family who had a father subject to child welfare risks and social services will visits and assessments to ascertain if intervention is required such as supervised time. Might mean u cannot leave him alone with the child for instance if you are not there. Doesn’t mean they will remain in touch if they feel that your child is well looked after and they can change their mind about the father if they have shown to have made changes. But they are going to want to discuss the risks so he cannot keep this from you and if he does that is a red flag 🚩

If it’s all lies like he says it is and the mother says it is too then the big red flag for you is why are they not working with social services to ensure he can love with him again. It was a temporary order so if they feel the situation has changed then they would want to place the child back with a parent as removal is traumatic for them. The fact she is applying for full rights of the child to me sounds like she doesn’t deem him fit to look after the child , or she would want to have any injustice rectified. You also need to be mindful that I don’t know what your mother in law is like , but if she is given the rights of one child she could make problems if she is the sort of person who wants to create problems and report you both in anger in the future. I don’t know if her desire to have the child supersedes what is in the best interest in the child I.E wanting custody at any cost or if she truly believes the separation is best. In either situation that creates a red flag for you staying with him

How long have you known your partner for? I’m just curious because if this child is only 3, all of this has happened in the last few years?

So in the last few years your partner was obviously in a situation where he was incapable of being responsible enough to care for a child, did you know him then? Do you know what his behaviour was like?

My reason for these questions is that my initial thought is that either he and his partner were incapacitated through drink or drugs and therefore incapable of caring for a child? Or there was repeated domestic violence?

It is highly unlikely that there was absolutely nothing in Social Service’s decision to remove the child from both parents’ care and grant only supervised access.

That your partner can still not face the facts and his inadequacies as a parent to his first child tells me that he hasn’t accepted any wrongdoing and therefore cannot have made the necessary improvements to be a better parent this time.

It’s a huge red flag that he isn’t being open with you now about what happened.

Do he and his child’s mother have much of a relationship with the child now?

Absolutely ask Social Services for the background, to be honest I can’t see how they can’t share it as they need to outline exactly what your partner needs to be doing now that he wasn’t doing for his first child.

Hi Dani. I’d definitely be worried but I’m sure even if social can’t say exactly what was the issue if you get told he can’t be around your child unsupervised then that speaks volumes regardless of what his mum says. If it is all lies (from his sons mother) then I’m sure he will be willing to work with you and social to prove he isn’t what they think he is! Does he have contact with his son? If so then why is he letting his mother go for residency? If he doesn’t have contact I’d be worried at the fact he’s having another baby and doesn’t even make his other his priority, will he do the same to your child too? If he’s on board with you, how is that going to make his son feel going forward? Very hard situation for you hun but your midwife seems very supportive and social will be too! Inbox me if you need a chat x

Never had any personal experiences with SS however saw below online:

Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons. The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable, and imminent harm. In all instances, social workers should disclose the least amount of confidential information necessary to achieve the desired purpose; only information that is directly relevant to the purpose for which the disclosure is made should be revealed - this is what it says online if your child is deemed to be at risk I would say they will disclose any information deemed relevant.

Also like someone else mentioned you can go to the police and ask for disclosure of your partners record under what’s known as Claire’s law if you feel there’s something you may need to b Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons. The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable, and imminent harm to a client or others. In all instances, social workers should disclose the least amount of confidential information necessary to achieve the desired purpose; only information that is directly relevant to the purpose for which the disclosure is made should be revealed. e aware of. They will disclose any criminal convictions that you partner has for offences such as domestic violence ,sex offences , assaults etc, you will however be made to sign to say that you will not disclose that information to anybody else.

Hope above helps 😊

Apologies it pasted twice 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi Linda

Thank you so much for your reply

The social worker comes today so definitely gonna express that I’m only taking the steps to ensure my child is safe. I have applied for a disclosure through police scotland too under the Clare’s law and have had my identity all confirmed so hopefully they will get back to me on the next step with that asap as they need to contact again but they said it can take up to 45 days. Thank you so much for your help it really has been a struggle knowing what path to go down to get the answers I need I’ve tried asking both my partner and his mum upfront countless times but after getting no where unfortunately it’s came to this. Your reply has been really helpful and hasn’t gone unnoticed 🫶🏼👏🏼x

Yeah I knew he had a child but just wasn’t told the full story on all the history with social work and his child. When I found out I wasn’t told all the details and that there where missing details that I hadn’t been told etc that’s when I began questioning everything and something felt off so have applied for a disclosure via police under Clare’s law and they’ve sent a referral to social work since I applied for that so hopefully I’ll get answers that way as I’ve asked my partner and his mother upfront about it on numerous occasions and still haven’t been told all the details so that’s where the red flags are coming from for me as if you didn’t have anything to hide you would be open and honest about everything from ur past with social work x

Hi Louise

thank you so much for your reply.

you seem to be asking all the questions I have asked it confuses me as to why anyone who believes their fit to look after their child would let their mum continue to go for a residency order and parental rights so that he then doesn’t have a say over his child🫤 I certainly wouldn’t let anyone do that to mine so confuses me as to why he isn’t fighting it but any time you ask why there’s no reply or answer, he has contact at his mums house and sometimes his son comes out here when his mum (my partners mum) drops him off, she says she has no issue with me watching his son which makes me feel like if I wasn’t in the house he still wouldn’t get his son at our house, his contact with his son isn’t consistent and it bugs the life out of me because you do not get to create a child and just bother with them and I quote his words “if and when he wants” doesn’t make me feel secure at all.

thank you so much for your response over the weekend by him and his family I was made to feel like I was in the wrong for wanting to check all this and his mum “is disgusted with me because what I’ve asked social work about him now goes back to their allocated social worker” but if they have nothing to hide then why is me asking for details on my partners previous dealings with social work an issue? Seems really sketchy to me and my own mum too she doesn’t really trust what she’s been told by my partner regarding it all either x

Hello Dani,

Social Work will share whatever is needful for the safety of the child. They may attempt to get your partner to fully self disclose first. If you have seen the social work reports, and if they are fairly recent then there probably won't be much more to add. Social work collate these reports using information from many different sources (their own evidence, police, health, education, welfare concerns from family/friends/public), this means that evidence is not all one sided. It may be possible that there is one rouge professional, but highly unlikely that so many agencies and professional are getting it wrong and just telling lies. As a professional myself in this area, I feel that my integrity and honesty are incredibly important values to bring to the work, as do many of the other professionals I know.

If the child is on a compulsory supervision order (CSO), this is an order made by a children's hearing panel. However to get as far as this order being made a statement of grounds ( reasons why the children's reporter feels a children's hearing is necessary and evidence for this) must either be agreed by the people who hold parental rights and responsibilities and children if they are over 12. If the parents do not agree the grounds it goes to court and the sheriff decides if they are true or not. If your partner's child has got a CSO then this means that the statement of grounds has been accepted as fact by either their parents or a Sheriff!

On another note, this is all fairly recent, and if you'd partner is not able to tell you the truth about this, its tells me that there has been little reflection or self awareness about what went wrong for their first child. This is an important step in your partner being able to evidence that they have capacity for change.... its likely that the same issues, whatever they are, will crop up again with your child without them being honest to you and themselves first.

Social work will just want to see that you are mature and are prioritising your child's welfare and are able to be protective of them. They will also want to support you.

Good luck Mama Bear. Xx

Very messy

you shouldn’t gotten involved with a man who was known to SS.

cause of that ss will now target you and they might latch on to you for years