3.5 year crying every morning going to nursery
13 answers /
Last post: 10/04/2023 at 2:58 pm
When he first started, he was absolutely fine, no tears, more than happy going in, even on his first day. Then after they had their first half term (end of October), he kept saying he didn't want to go to nursery. Put it down to post-half-term-blues but no, every day, without fail, he tells me he doesn't want to go. Back then, it was just him telling me he didn't want to go but no tears.
I spoke to his key worker at the time and he was really surprised as he said that he's always so happy when he's there but said he'd keep an eye on him for me.
But it's just getting worse. Now, it is a battle every single morning to get him out of the house. Sometimes I am literally dragging him across the floor to get him in the car. Then when we get to nursery, he starts crying. I have all the other mums giving me sympathetic looks and saying how upset he is, the nursery workers now know to expect him to come in crying (so they now kind of whisk him away from me as quick as possible) and it just leaves me feeling really horrible that my son is the only one that cries every morning going in and I've no idea what to do about it. I wondered if it was me that was causing the upset because he doesn't like me leaving him but he does it when his nans take him as well.
I spoke to his key worker again and he assured me that he's absolutely fine once he's in, it's just the first minute or so. I guess that's the main thing, he's happy once he's there but I hate hate hate leaving him in such a state. Has anyone else gone through this? I see the odd child here and there crying because they don't want to go but not every single day.
As you don't know exactly what it is that he dislikes nursery (and kids often aren't good at understanding or explaining these things), you won't be able to fix it. It has been going on a long time now and there is no sign of it getting better.
As you don't know exactly what it is that he dislikes nursery (and kids often aren't good at understanding or explaining these things), you won't be able to fix it. It has been going on a long time now and there is no sign of it getting better.
Maybe you could stay with your child for 15 mins or so to reassure him and keep reminding him that you will be back to pick him up later. Maybe he just feels uneasy at the thought of you leaving him and he just needs to learn that going to nursery is fun and exciting and your always going to come back for him
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I think in all it lasted about 2 months and kinda just fizzled out and he went back to being happy as Larry going in. He's now in reception and hasn't once cried or been clingy at drop off..
Just persevere! if you stop taking your lo just because he's going through a bit of a rough patch, that may set the standard for when he goes back or starts school and you'll have it all over again!
It just strikes me as hard on everyone to persist in sending a child every day to a place he clearly doesn't want to go. I'd need to be quite sure that it really was necessary.
This morning was a complete turnaround though. Usually in the mornings, he likes to play with his tablet. I don't mind him playing with it for a little bit but it's become a bit of a regular thing, he gets up, has breakfasgt and then plays with his tablet which I often let him take in the car as it distracts him from where we're going. This morning, I decided he's not having the tablet in the mornings anymore. No tablet, got in the car with minimal fuss, got to nursery, as soon as the door opened, he was straight in!!! I was so shocked as were all the nursery staff. They have now become used to my son crying as he goes in so they try and get him in as quickly as possible. I could see all their faces. They were clearly as shocked as me. Monday for some reason is generally the better day for him going into nursery. No idea why but he's never been this enthusiastic so I'm hoping it lasts!
He's at a preschool/nursery that he's been attending since 2. He's never been that thrilled about going but has generally been ok. But since the Christmas holidays he has screamed the place down every day.
He wakes in the night saying he doesn't want to go, he cries before we leave, he screams when he has to go in and he has to be peeled off me.
I've tried bribing him with treats, tried being tough, tried cuddling until he calms down (which doesn't happen!), I've tried everything!!! And now I'm at a complete loss for what to try next.
I know people say that it's a phase that they will grow out of but it seems never ending and its all I can do to get through the drop off without walking out and bursting into tears.
I feel your pain. I hope your little one settles down soon.
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He's at a preschool/nursery that he's been attending since 2. He's never been that thrilled about going but has generally been ok. But since the Christmas holidays he has screamed the place down every day.
He wakes in the night saying he doesn't want to go, he cries before we leave, he screams when he has to go in and he has to be peeled off me.
I've tried bribing him with treats, tried being tough, tried cuddling until he calms down (which doesn't happen!), I've tried everything!!! And now I'm at a complete loss for what to try next.
I know people say that it's a phase that they will grow out of but it seems never ending and its all I can do to get through the drop off without walking out and bursting into tears.
I feel your pain. I hope your little one settles down soon.
I realise this is a very old post, but was wondering if anyone had a magic solution :)
My 2.5 year old cries every morning, very distraught when we get near nursery. He can talk about it fine at home, saying it's for him (not me and papa as we go to work, not his brother as he goes to school..). But on our way he gets super upset, want us to turn back etc.
It's a lovely nursery, my eldest very happy there and the teachers kind as they always cuddle, know what to say that interests him etc.
My youngest has been going for 1.5 years and it has been so awful the last week or two especially. He's ok after 5 mins they say and walks out complete happy, saying he's had a fun time. Two pals in his class, feedback is he's quiet but happy enough playing and joining in.
Anyone experienced the same and had a child who did EVENTUALLY stop being so upset going in? We need the childcare and as a lockdown baby (no family around) he needs to keep going so he's used to this before school. It doesn't seem to bother him all the time, happy boy all round really, am finding it harder not to be thinking about all every day!
Thanks and sorry for the long post... Even if nothing can be done and no one able to respond, good to get off my chest :)
I realise this is a very old post, but was wondering if anyone had a magic solution :)
My 2.5 year old cries every morning, very distraught when we get near nursery. He can talk about it fine at home, saying it's for him (not me and papa as we go to work, not his brother as he goes to school..). But on our way he gets super upset, want us to turn back etc.
It's a lovely nursery, my eldest very happy there and the teachers kind as they always cuddle, know what to say that interests him etc.
My youngest has been going for 1.5 years and it has been so awful the last week or two especially. He's ok after 5 mins they say and walks out complete happy, saying he's had a fun time. Two pals in his class, feedback is he's quiet but happy enough playing and joining in.
Anyone experienced the same and had a child who did EVENTUALLY stop being so upset going in? We need the childcare and as a lockdown baby (no family around) he needs to keep going so he's used to this before school. It doesn't seem to bother him all the time, happy boy all round really, am finding it harder not to be thinking about all every day!
Thanks and sorry for the long post... Even if nothing can be done and no one able to respond, good to get off my chest :)
Hi Sandra,
I'm sorry to read your little one is having such a tough time.
As you are aware, this is an older thread that hasn't been updated for a while.
I would highly recommend you start your own thread so we can get you some advice and supporter from our Parent Supporter team.
Any problems starting your own thread, please do ask for help.
Hi Sandra,
I'm sorry to read your little one is having such a tough time.
As you are aware, this is an older thread that hasn't been updated for a while.
I would highly recommend you start your own thread so we can get you some advice and supporter from our Parent Supporter team.
Any problems starting your own thread, please do ask for help.
Ok, thanks!
I feel your pain I’ve been there and it’s awful 😞 we tried everything, distraction, not being honest about where we were going just to avoid the battle of getting dressed for nursery, I was at the point of changing as I was convinced he was unhappy there. It turned out he wasn’t there enough and once he was in preschool going more often with older kids more on his level he seems to have settled now🤞 we soon realised though he was always worse with me dropping off and better with his dad (mummy’s boy) and I was lucky enough to have that option. We think because I got anxious and stressed about it it made him worse, his dad would play silly games to distract him which helped too I think. I’m not sure if any of this helps, but I’m sure in time he will accept it and settle, however I know this is unlikely to make you feel any better about it in the meantime x
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