Please Advise

I was in a relationship with my ex partner for 2 years on & off. I ended the relationship due to suffering domestic violence & emotional abuse.

I provided indisputable evidence of this, but he was granted access to our 6 year old through cafcass and the courts following intensive rehabilitation work, despite my apprehensive protests.

His family are heavy drinkers & are often heavily intoxicated. I do not drink myself. He took an undertaking with the court that he would not consume alcohol whilst our son was in his care for a period of 2 years. He refused an indefinite undertaking & now drinks alcohol whilst caring for our son as this undertaking has now expired. His father alleged he was sexually abused by a family member then later retracted this in court claiming he fabricated this story to gain my sympathy & excuse his violent & erratic behaviour. This family member no longer has contact with the rest of the family.

Some weeks ago my son has divulged to me that he has been sleeping in bed with his step-grandfather, completely naked. I informed his father that this is not an appropriate sleeping arrangement & demanded my son sleep alone in his own bed.

This weekend my son went to stay at his grandparents caravan on his fathers access weekend. His father was not present. I was lead to believe he would be in the care of his grandmother & step-grandfather only. My son told me his fathers sister & her boyfriend also stayed at the caravan. My son described seeing bottles of alcohol on the kitchen worktop & everyone was ‘drunk’ he followed this up with impressions of their demeanour after consuming alcohol to better describe how they change in behaviour.

The caravan is a 3 bedroom accommodation with 2 double beds & 1 single room with 2 small cabin beds that are only centimetres apart. My son says both the grandparents & aunt & her boyfriend all chose to sleep separately, his sisters boyfriend slept naked aside from his underpants, in the single bed centimetres from him. He then claimed he touched the boyfriends underpants at some point in the night but later retracted this claim when pressed for more details of the incident. My son has only met his aunts boyfriend a handful of times & does not know him well. I have never seen or met this man before.

I sent messages to both his father & his step-grandfather asking for an explanation why my son is being forced to sleep with naked adult males & voiced my concerns about the drinking & asked for an explanation about the touching of underpants comment. I received no response

from either.

In the cost of living crisis I cannot afford legal advice/representation, the previous court hearing litigated me into debt. I do not qualify for legal aid as I work full time & do not claim benefits. His father will not respond to me to provide any explanations. If I stop his contact I could be found in contempt of court.

I have spoken to the police & social services who have both agreed this families behaviour is ‘very concerning’ however in the absence of any clear omissions of abuse from my son, they can take no action other than to submit a safeguarding referral as no clear criminal offences have been disclosed. A case of indecent exposure or negligence would be too difficult to prove with limited evidence, especially in a domestic setting.

I have only 2 options..

1) Stop contact & send a formal letter to his father outlining my reasons & concerns. But risk being held in contempt of court for breaching the current court order.

2) Send my son to his father and take the risk of him coming to sexual/emotional/physical harm.

Can anyone please advise??

All responses are appreciated regardless if the opinions differ from my own. All information provided in this statement is factual and no malice is intended towards the family in question.

Thank you