Last year I fell pregnant with my first child and social services became involved because I was living at home with my parents and my room was messy and so was the kitchen and the midwife I had rang social services.They told us we couldn't live at my parents house because it was unsuitable and they put my daughters name on the child protection register under the categories of physical harm and neglect. Just because my grandfather's stuff was cluttering the house because he recently died and my mum was sorting his things out. I agreed to move into my boyfriends flat when she was born as I was willing to do what it takes to keep her . The social worker kept putting lies into her report and when we confronted her about them she dismissed it and moved on. They took it to PLO and said that my boyfriends flat wasn't ready Even though we were told by professionals it was fine. Then they told us the day before I gave birth that we had to move 2 hours away from home and live with a Foster carer. I gave birth and was in hospital for 3 days and then they took us to the placement. While we were on the way the social worker told us that the plan had changed and our baby wasnt allowed to sleep in the room with us like we agreed , i was devastated. I was in agony the whole way because of my stitches And when we got there I couldn't sit down so I had to stand up to breastfeed. As soon as Ias got there I was told I had to do loads of chores but every time I did something I was told I wasn't doing anything and that my partner was doing everything even though I was doing the chores and I was breastfeeding . I didn't have any time to recover from the birth and I developed an infection because of this but social services put it down to poor personal hygiene. I wasn't allowed to see my family or friends and when I tried to text them I would get told off. The whole time I was there I felt like I was walking on eggshells with this woman and as a result of this my mental health suffered to the point I was put in a crisis bed in mental health hospital for the night. The next day the carer told me I could visit my family for a few days so I went home and I was pumping while I was away to keep my supply up but while I was away I was getting into trouble because I was away for too long even though I was only home for a couple of days after being gone for a month. When I got back I found that they had started bottle feeding my baby and when I tried to breastfeed again they told me I couldn't because it was cruel because I wouldn't have enough milk for her. I spoke to the midwife and she said I could do both until my supply had gone back up but the carer wouldn't let me. I was told I had to wake up at night when my baby needed feeding but I wasn't allowed to feed her I just had to watch. I had to go back home because I had a hospital appointment and as I was on the train the social worker rang me and told me the carer had given me a 7 days notice. So I had to go home and leave my baby and my partner. A few days later my partner decided he couldn't do it on his own and came home and the Foster carer told social services she wanted to Foster my baby but me and my partner disagreed and instead she was placed with someone alot closer to home. We were told we were allowed to see her 3 times a week in a contact centre. After this all happened my mental health deteriorated and I started using ketamine and mdma. This made things a lot worse and so did the fact that we couldn't sleep at night so we slept all day and would sometimes miss contact. They took it to court and the judge said all the risks were at threshold. Even though their concerns were past drug use and mental health issues. I stopped taking drugs and drinking when I found out I was pregnant and it wasn't like I was doing them all the time I took them now and again at parties. The mental health issues were suicide attempts, nothing that would have affected my parenting because my baby gave me a reason to live but they wouldn't listen. They just thought that the smallest bit of stress would make me attempt to take my own life which I would never do now If I was a mum. The court asked for a drug test which I agreed to and when I got the results back it said I had been taking ketamine and mdma while I was pregnant which wasn't true at all. They've taken my baby with no good reason and they've also said I'm not allowed to be alone with my nephew or my friends kids as if I've ever done something to hurt a child!? I just want my baby because they're pretty much saying if I have any more kids they'll be taken off me. If any of you can please help I will be forever in your debt. I've emailed the mp and I've tried to complain but nothing has worked.

I’m really sorry that you’re in this situation and my heart goes out to you and your baby but you really need to wake up to the reality of your situation. Instead of making excuses about why this isn’t your fault, just ask social services what you can do to get your daughter back. If you read what you’ve written back to yourself then maybe you can gain some insight because it’s REALLY important to recognise where you’ve gone wrong or you won’t change, you won’t get your daughter back and eventually you may lose rights to her. Get clean, get therapy, turn up to visits and be consistently there for her. If you’re offered support like parenting classes- attend them in a sober state of mind. Do whatever you are told to to get her back, ask social services for a list of conditions/goals you need to meet in order to get her back. That is the best advice, rather than fighting social services and explaining away your behaviour take ownership so you can be the best mum you can be. Your daughter deserves to have you in her life, happy and healthy. I wish you loads of luck, I hope you’re not offended but you are getting in your own way and sometimes the truth is the most helpful x

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Please can anyone help me - Page: 3

31 answers /

Last post: 16/04/2023 at 8:04 pm

Lucy S(1294)

16/04/2023 at 8:04 pm

In answer to

Beverly M(27)

Hi sadly your case is one of thousands what they done to you was the cause of the problems and its a set up they do all the time. If you want to join a group I have set up for kids under a special guardian it dont matter if yours isn't but please join . Its called a specail guardianship order a parents view there's many on there like you. So don't be scared to join.

A rubbish social worker would be more likely to ignore abuse and neglect, not fabricate it. There are countless instances where this has happened where they have failed to intervene and children have died.

Comments like this aren’t helpful, taking ownership and changing where needed is. Is it more likely that social services are deliberately working to separate kids from their parents, or are they just trying to do their jobs- protect the child from an unsafe situation- and maybe once the child is removed things fall apart further?🤔 there is no set up, this poor lady needs support not being told that people are working against her

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