8 year old daughter becoming "overly emotional"

2 answers /

Last post: 26/02/2023 at 7:34 pm

REBECCA B(59)
Rebecca B(59)
26/02/2023 at 5:32 pm

Hi,


My DD is 8 1/2 years old and for the last 6-12 months we've noticed at home that she is crying over very little things. This would have seemed normal but she didn't do it before, we've often described her as 8 going on 18 she's very mature for her age particularly now she has two younger siblings. She is the 2nd of 4 (1st boy 10YO, 3rd girl 3YO, 4th girl 18MO). She helps a lot with her younger siblings and spends time with her older brother too as well as having many friends. She's smart and pretty (I'm not being biased just trying to give background) and is a very well rounded child. We spend a lot of time at appointments for her older brother who was thought to be lightly autistic but has now been diagnosed with ADHD and I worry that she gets overlooked at times so I do try to carve out special time just for her. If it was just at home I might not be so worried but recently it has been mentioned on her school report that she is becoming "overly emotional" and needs to "manage her emotions better". We live in France and have just got back from 2 weeks with my family in Britain where many commented on how grown up she is but that she has a tendency to then cry suddenly over the littlest of things. The fact that it has been noticed in 3 different settings suddenly feels like alarm bells going off in my head. One of the starting points for her brother being diagnosed with ADHD was him having "meltdowns" and not managing his emotions and frustration. Are we over looking something similar with our daughter? I am aware that ADHD manifests differently in girls but I'm no expert, perhaps it's something else? I am willing to take her to see a professional but I just don't know how to express my concerns, particularly in French, "my daughter keeps crying"...and? it sounds feeble but I'm worried it's the tip of something deeper. I suffer from mental health problems myself so I'm always terrified that my children will follow in my footsteps.


Thank you for any advice,


Rebecca

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KAYLEIGH W(312)
Kayleigh W(312)
26/02/2023 at 7:34 pm

Hi Rebecca,

I’m Kayleigh, one of the parent supporters at Netmums. You sound like a great mum, you are really looking out for your daughter and it’s understandable that you are concerned after hearing this feedback from multiple people in your life. You are right that the frequent crying episodes could be a sign of something more.


You mentioned that ‘ she didn’t do it before’, it sounds like this isn’t usually a part of your daughter’s personality. I wonder if you have felt able to talk to her about this directly? You could try to approach this from a place of curiosity about how she is feeling right now, how she is finding school etc. This could help you to narrow down if there are things she is struggling with that could be contributing to her feeling upset.


Young Minds have some excellent resources that could help start a conversation about feelings and mental health. Here is on about the stress bucket which is a useful analogy for how we handle to stress and why we might feel overwhelmed if our bucket is ‘full’: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/professional/resources/stress-bucket-activity/


You mentioned that you are also concerned you might be overlooking ADHD symptoms in your daughter. From everything you’ve mentioned Rebecca, you sound very attentive to your daughter and her wellbeing, but you are right that symptoms can present differently in girls. There is an article here which focuses on how ADHD presents in girls, you could consider if you notice these signs in your daughter: https://psychcentral.com/adhd/girls-with-adhd#symptoms


Another thing to consider is your daughter’s age, although everyone is different some children will enter the earliest stages of puberty as young as 8. Hormones could also be playing a role in her mood.


Wishing you all the best,


Kayleigh

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